Category: Geeky Cool Stuff

Aromas Assemble!: The Avengers Cologne Set

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avengers cologneThis Avengers Cologne set is awesome. And trust me, I need to upgrade my smell. As it is now, people have labeled my particular scent as: Rank, ripe, a trash truck on fire on a humid day, a Grateful Dead concert in it’s fifth hour and my personal favorite; a weaponized form on man-thrax. Hey, I forget to put on deodorant. Sooorrry!

Well, now I’m gonna smell great.

Captain America – Patriot
Smells like some World War II dude who slept for like 70 years. Musty and dusty, but his butt-kicking skills are not rusty.

Iron Man – Mark IV
Smells like stale sweat trapped in a jet-powered suit and since your pee-technology just gave out, there’s a wee trickle of urine with a splash of citrus.

Hulk – Be Angry
This is a grunting savage scent. It smells large, foul and angry. Think an hour after Taco Bell smell.

Thor – Worthy
Smells manly, earthy like a forged fire. But when it wears off your BO hits people like a hammer.

Nah. I’m just kidding. People say they smell good. Of course anything beats raw nerd smell, which is a cross between stale comic book paper and mom’s basement. Now where did my new Hulk issues get to?

Santaur Christmas Tree Ornament

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santaur ornamentHey look! It’s Santa in centaur form, sporting a big old booty and a buff chest. The head, arms, and torso are all Santa, but the body and legs are all horse. This basically give him more horsepower so he can deliver presents faster. You know. Like those socks and sweaters that he knows I hate, yet still gets me every year.

He’s magical. He’s mythical. He’s merry. He’s also, apparently, a friggin’ Pokemon. I can’t wait to see what he evolves into next year. He’ll probably have dragon wings and a snake body and turn all evil once the stress of Christmas Eve gets to be too much. Naturally, he will set fire to whole towns. Eventually another mythical creature will have to intervene. Jesus! Who else ya gonna call? FIGHT!

But wait. Here comes Krampus! The carnage! Streets on fire! Reindeers impaled on church steeples!We are all screwed!
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Christmas Elf On The Shelf Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Costume

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elf on a shelf ninja turtle
This elf is bad to the bone. He doesn’t just sit on the shelf. He cosplays while he’s up there. As a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. Etsy seller Candygramscreations makes all kinds of clothes so you can dress your Christmas elf for success. This outfit comes with a front and back shell, a belt, mask, and 4 swords. Cowabunga!

Basically she is making elves super hip and cool, because otherwise, they just sit there creeping you out. Thanks for making the world a better place. I sometimes dress my Christmas elf up as a D and D elf, because I basically have no imagination. Sometimes as one of the Rice Krispies guys.
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Mr. Predator Action Figure

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predator action figure
This Mr. Predator action figure would be loads of fun. You could use your other action figures and play out all kinds of real world situations. Things that might happen to “Mr. Predator”.

Hello Mr. Predator. Thank you for coming to the job interview. I see here you are skilled at hunting and setting off nuclear weapons in the jungle. Can’t see through mud though. Hmmm. That might be a problem here seeing as how this pottery factory makes goods from clay. With a face like that you should be opening metal cans for a living. Ha ha ha.

The interview always ends with Mr. Predator removing the guy’s spine and tucking it in his briefcase, before adjusting his tie and walking out the door.
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Epic Little Trees: Bob Ross IS Thor

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epic bob rossYou want some happy trees? You want some pretty clouds? Bob Ross has channeled the power of Thor and is here to lay the smack down on any blank canvas that gets in his way. That’s why they call him Bob “the hammer” Ross.

Right now he’s in PBS heaven with Mr. Rogers and Captain Kangaroo, where they are trying to form an Avengers team, but Fred Rogers refuses to hulk the f**k out and Julia Child isn’t all that sexy as Black Widow. They’re working on it. They may have to come down to Earth and recruit Bob Villa to make some crazy armor suit out of old run-down homes.

Thanks for the tip Sarah. As soon as they form a team, you’ll be working the phones at the pledge drive right? I want a cheap tote with a logo on it.