What could be more welcoming than a Vampire Bat Door Knocker? That’s the kind of house I would walk up to and say, “Nice knockers!” and mean it. Gonna need a door mat to go with my door bat though. So Gothic, so spooky.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Bat.
Bat who?
Bat-choo. I’m a bat with a cold! Which means I can only take Nyquil, not Dayquil. Cuz I’m a bat see? I’m also batsy!
In the future man will do battle with deadly cyborgs, decapitating them and decorating with their bio-mechanical heads. Behold Cyborg Skeleton Bookends. They say, “When not out killing cyborgs to survive a harsh wasteland-hell existance, I like to sit and enjoy a good book with a cup of tea. Otherwise if I see a robot, I murder it.”
These are going to look cool with all of my big-boy books that i don’t read cuz no pictures. I’m gonna set them up, one of each side of my books, then when they least suspect it, gonna remove the books and slap their heads together 3 stooges style. Quiet ya numbskull!
These Universal Monsters Retro Action Figures are sweeet! There’s Dracula, Wolfman, Mummy, Creature, Invisible Man and that guy at the opera. Hey, remember when these movies were all in black and white? Well, that got me thinking. Dogs see in black and white.
Yeah?
Well, before color TV, we were all dogs.
Except we weren’t because real life was in color.
Are you sure? Cuz I’m pretty sure the world wasn’t in color until like the 60s. The pictures prove it. Cuz they started being color pictures when black and white was over. That’s how you know.
You’re an idiot.
Am I? Or am I the only one with my eyes wide open?
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*Stoner voice* Dude, my skull is totally baked! This Skull Baking Pan must be from Deady Crocker. I think I saw this on the food network. No, wait. It was the F-ewwd Network. I’m gonna decorate mine for the Day of the Dead. Might give him a gold grill too, cuz he has to look as badass as he tastes. I hope I don’t drop it and give my confectionary a concussion.
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Say “nevermore” to other pop-up books! This The Raven Pop-Up Book is where it’s at. And by “it” I mean lots and lots of ravens. Just guessing based on the title. It’s by famous author Edgar Allan Pop-Up.
Reminds me of my first pop-up book as a child. Mom started reading and I’m all like, Whoa… I thought this was a pop-up book.
She’s all like, It is honey-bunny. Now pay attention.
And I was all like, No you pay attention mom. Pop-up book implies popcorn. I thought it was a book that provided it’s own snack. Now where’s the hidden Jiffy Pop in this thing and how do you activate it?
Oh, a child’s imagination. I burned that book on the stove until I was sure no popcorn was coming out. Also, until the nice firemen arrived.
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