*Stares into it’s eyes* What is thy bidding my master? *Slaps self in the face* That’s better. This LEGO Sugar Skull Automaton was built by Darryl Friesen, even though it is not the Day of the Dead holiday just yet. It is hypnotizing and mesmerizing. It just looks around and chomps its teeth, while the spinny bits implant false memories in your head and make you do whatever it wants. Check out the video below.
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Category: Just Plain Weird
Authentic Bigfoot Call
Guys this is the most accurate Bigfoot calling device ever, at least since that spicy taco fart I did while camping in 1976, which resulted in a three Bigfoots circling my tent wondering what that trash smell was and if the mountain was on fire with ass somehow. This Authentic Bigfoot Call seems totally legit. I’m willing to take their word for it, mostly cuz I’m too lazy to look up a video on Youtube. I’m sure it doesn’t sound anything like a kazoo f**king a duck or anything like that. Just blow into it and it will call a Bigfoot. So it is basically a Bigfoot phone. You know how else you can call a Bigfoot? Hang up a dead goat in the forest and wait. This device is much less messy. Also where do you even find a goat that isn’t part of a meme? No idea.
Nightmare On Elm Street Freddy Krueger Soap
What is that smell? Damn Freddy! Now I smell why they call you a nightmare on elm street. You rank son! Here, try this Nightmare On Elm Street Freddy Krueger Soap. You might want to wash that sweater and hat once in awhile too. You smell like you look. Like a trucker’s rest stop bathroom in hell. Just go over there. Further. Further. Is this a dream? Cuz you smell real. Real nasty! Get outta here Freddy and don’t come back until your ass is clean.
Your Time Will Come Clock With Grim Reaper Hands
Check out this Your Time Will Come Clock With Grim Reaper Hands. What time is that? Lunch. Bring it! Dinner? I’m there. Hey, don’t you ever get tired of holding that clock? Those bony hands look like they could use a break. Here, let me take it for awhile. Ha ha. Tricked you! Now I’m the Grim Reaper. Now YOUR time has come. *Hits him over the head with the clock*
Now nobody dies. Sucker!
Ten years later: *Standing in a room full of people packed like sardines.* Sure is crowded in here since nobody has died in like ten years. *Guy next to me grunts as we all get pressed tighter together.* So basically I killed the Grim Reaper and we are all immortal and can’t move. I really f**ked up this time. Hey, stop jabbing me! Who’s touching my ass?
Bone Appetit – Skull Bowl
Chips and dip? Cheese and crackers? M and M’s? Popcorn? Whatever you serve up in this Skull Bowl, it’s taking things to a very macabre level. Eat like the undertakers do. Oh c’mon you know they do freaky stuff like this all of the time. Cuz they play with dead bodies and stuff. Hey, can I get some chips and dip in a cracked skull? Chips and dip in a hip would be more appropriate. Cuz it rhymes. Poor guy whose skull that is. How could he let that happen to him? No brain. That’s how. I guess that makes whatever appetizer you have in it a no-brainer too. Celebrating the Super Bowl? Use a Skull Bowl.