Category: Just Plain Weird

The Jersey Devil Statue

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The Jersey Devil Statue
I saw the Jersey Devil once and I never dated that high-haired, aqua-net infused, devourer of pasta and overly bronzed chick again. Thanks tinder. Thanks a whole lot. Gotta try another dating app. I hear good things about grinder, but I don’t know much about this tech stuff. I’m just a monkey typing away at the keys here, occasionally playing with my banana. Anyway, this The Jersey Devil Statue doesn’t come in bronze. Thank God!

It does come in red and- Oh hell, is that bronze? She didn’t see me. I don’t think she saw me. I blocked my face with my iPad. I think we’re good. That was close. Probably headed for a never ending pasta bowl somewhere. I’m outta here before she sees me.
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Skull Bath Bomb with Hidden Brain Soap Inside

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Skull Bath Bomb with Hidden Brain Soap Inside
This Skull Bath Bomb with Hidden Brain Soap Inside makes for a real relaxing bath. Unless I’m in the house with you. In which case, I’ll be busting in the bathroom yelling, “Bombs away!” as I toss a couple in your water, splashing it everywhere.

They’re bombs! What did you expect? Bath bombs! Meaning bombs for your bath! They don’t work unless somebody is tossing them like a grenade. By the way, these grenades have a brain inside, so you will be left bathing in brains. Were as I bathe with beauty. That’s why we’re such a good couple.

Spike The Nail Head

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Spike The Nail Head
Meet Spike The Nail Head. A fun sculpture that you can decorate your house with. You know what his dad said when he was born? “Nailed it!” Boy did he ever. He’s cousins with Pinhead, but they had a falling out. You should see their other cousin, Staplehead. They all claim they are Hellraisers, but the only thing they’ve raised is a bunch of heck and kids with various objects in their heads.

Hellraiser Pinhead Cenobyte Pet

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Hellraiser Pinhead Cenobyte Pet
This Hellraiser Pinhead Cenobyte Pet is pretty adorable.Aside from the fact that it is basically a porcupine and you can’t pat the little beast. Also, forget having bedding and pillows without holes in them. And if this critter wants out the screen door, all it has to do is push it’s pins into it and it’s free. Good luck as it rubs up on your furniture and rips up all of your fabric. I would advise some sort of head gear that acts as a protective cage.

Miniature Alchemist’s Potion Cupboard

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Miniature Alchemist's Potion Cupboard
Fun fact: For years I thought that an alchemist was just a chemist named Al. Now I know better and I don’t go referring to chemists with their first name followed by the word chemist. Oh, hi Ted-chemist. How are you Chad-Chemist? Sup Fred-Chemist? Anyway, this Miniature Alchemist’s Potion Cupboard is perfect for pint sized chemical enthusiasts.

I’m not getting it though. Last time I had something like this displayed, a couple of mice studied the art of chemistry and created some toxic knockout gas, putting me to sleep and taking all my stuff.

Okay, fine. That’s just my way of saying I farted. Then fell asleep and got robbed.