Serial Killer art is so…what’s the word I’m looking for? “It puts the lotion on!” These Framed Human Prosthetic Eyes will follow you around the room. Maybe even undress you with their eyes. Then gawk some more. Ewwwww! There are four pairs of eyes, all sizing you up. I don’t know what’s more disturbing the fact that this is a set of four eyes in a frame, or the fact that they all share the same skin. They should really all be looking at each other and forming an escape plan. Not that eyes can escape. If they could, my eyes would have bugged out when I first saw this thing.
Category: Medical
Medical Anatomy and Oddities Pillow Case
This Medical Anatomy and Oddities Pillow Case is just what I need for some late night reading before sleepy-time. No wonder I have nightmares. Read me a bedtime story…
There once was a medical quack
who lived in a old wooden shack
He took out his spleen
and washed it all clean
then kissed it and put it back.
Cuz he’s weird. The end.
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Body Parts Coffee Mugs
What the deuce? Would someone please ex-spleen what it is I’m seeing? Oh. These are Body Parts Coffee Mugs? Cool. That explains why that one is shaped like a kidney. You get PANCREAS, HDL, KIDNEY, STOMACH, TRIGLYCERIDES and MUSCLE. I have no idea what the hell HDL is. Human dingus liposites? Have no idea, but that sounds painful.
What’s next? A limited edition rectum stein? If so, I’ll have to keep my eyes peeled. FYI: Rectum Stein was Dr. Frankenstein’s prototype monster. I can see why he tried again. The name alone is not encouraging. Oh wait. I’m wrong. Rectum Stein was Dr. Frankenstein’s brother. Yeah, he was into a bunch of strange stuff. You don’t want to know about that guy’s monsters.
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Heart Anatomy Coasters
When people come to my house and have a drink, I break out these sweet Heart Anatomy Coasters and I start singing, all like, “I’m gonna harden my heart. I’m gonna swallow my tears. Gonna turn and le-heave yo-hoo here ah ah.” Then I put the Yoo-hoo on the coaster, cuz I’m all about avoiding spillage.
Sometimes I’ll be all like “Don’t go breakin’ my heart.” And then they’ll be all like, “I couldn’t if I tried.” Then I’m like, “Honey if I get restless…” And they answer, “Baby you’re not that type.” And they’re right, so we just leave it at that.
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Human Heart Candle – Turn On Your Heart Light
Boom-boom. Boom-boom. Boom-boom. That’s the sound this Human Heart Candle makes. What, yours is all pitter patter? Yeah, but did you have a six pack of Red Bull and a bag of Oreos? That’s what I thought. Uh-oh. Just started going boom boom boom. *Listens with my stethoscope against the heart. Heart puffs up and then contracts. Something smells funny. I look at the patient.* Did you just heart in here?
Have a heart and heart this hearty heart. I bet you don’t drive much Mr.Heart, cuz I can see you lack the blood vessels. Zing! I like you so much I’m gonna give you an award. Here have this plaque. Oh… Looks like you have enough already. Zing! Alright, don’t have a coronary!