Tag: silly

Body Parts Coffee Mugs

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Body Parts Coffee Mugs
What the deuce? Would someone please ex-spleen what it is I’m seeing? Oh. These are Body Parts Coffee Mugs? Cool. That explains why that one is shaped like a kidney. You get PANCREAS, HDL, KIDNEY, STOMACH, TRIGLYCERIDES and MUSCLE. I have no idea what the hell HDL is. Human dingus liposites? Have no idea, but that sounds painful.

What’s next? A limited edition rectum stein? If so, I’ll have to keep my eyes peeled. FYI: Rectum Stein was Dr. Frankenstein’s prototype monster. I can see why he tried again. The name alone is not encouraging. Oh wait. I’m wrong. Rectum Stein was Dr. Frankenstein’s brother. Yeah, he was into a bunch of strange stuff. You don’t want to know about that guy’s monsters.
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Drunk Dressing: Beer Bottle Cap Dress

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bottlecap dress
Hey baby! You look great in that Bottle Cap Dress. You must have drank a ton of Bud Light and Coors and been tipsy on that sewing machine. So glad we met through that beercrafting dating service. You like my cowboy hat? Nah, we don’t stand out. Do you think we stand out?

I am totally getting some tonight. You know how I know? Psst! *Whispers* I brought a bottle opener.

This beer bottle cap dress is like a suit of drunken armor that you can wear to your next crazy party.

Face Coasters: Protect Your Furniture, Change Your Face

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face coasters
These Gentlemen’s Club Face Coasters attach to your nose and let you change your face. It beats plastic surgery! These are perfect for when you need an instant disguise.

These coasters are double sided so this set of 20 will let you choose between 40 different images. No one is going to recognize the lower half of your face. You can be an old man, choose from several mustaches, meth teeth and more. Pretty sweet!
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ButtHeads Are Cuddly Plush Cigarettes

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buttheads cigarette plushWhat a bunch of ButtHeads. Some are cute and some look grumpy, but these butts are for cuddling not for smoking. You can choose from: smoked, not smoked or stepped on. Pro tip: If they come home with lipstick on their filter, you know they have been cheating on you.

These huggable and lovable butts might even help you quit smoking. Just punch it or hug it. Or both. While others are lighting up in their smoking areas, join them with your ButtHead and softly caress it as you smell that sweet smoke. Take it with you everywhere in place of smoking. On the bus, to the movies, to dinner. When the craving becomes too much, strangle your ButtHead. That’s what it’s there for. It’s sooooo hard to quit. Which is why your ButtHead will end up shredded, on the wrong side of a knife as you completely lose it.

Damn. That felt good. I need a smoke after that.

Texas Wound ‘Em: Bandage Shaped Poker Playing Cards

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bandage playing cardsI have a full house, Boo-boos high. I have a royal flush, ouchies high. I have a pair of one eye’d kings…because they both got stabbed in the eye.

Fun for the whole family. These Bandage Shaped Poker Playing Cards combine two of our favorite pastimes, Poker and open wounds that need bandaging. How do you not already use these cards on your Poker night? They look like bandages, but are playing cards.

They were obviously designed by some kid who skinned his knee running away from a poker game where he just cleaned all the other kids out, cheating them out of all of their pop-rocks and pixie sticks and other uncontrolled diabetic substances. Probably wrecked his big wheel and when he hit his head, he came up with this idea. Of course his parents probably stole his money and so today he lives in a shack in Arkansas where he hits his head repeatedly on the wall, trying to strike gold again. Sad really.