Arrrrrrrr matey! Feast yer eyes on this antique pirate machine. Pull the lever and lose ye booty. No, it won’t slim ye butt-shanks, I mean prepare to lose yer treasure as ye drop coin down my slot. What do ye mean I sound like an old mermaid harlot? Listen, get ye mind out of the gutter and yank me pistol down to get me dials spinning. What? Oh nevermind!
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Tag: antique
Antique Outhouse For $200
For those who prefer a good poop outdoors, you can buy this antique outhouse for just $200. It was probably built in the 1930s or 1940s. It’s the house that sh*t built. Also the house that someone had to clean the sh*t out of. It basically looks like it is falling apart and has received it’s last set of buttcheeks on that wood throne.
The old Duke boys probably took many a duke in that thing. Till Boss Hog came to visit one day and caused a mini earthquake that tilted the crap shack and left it venting Cleveland steam for 3 weeks straight.
Hey, it has two holes. Team pooping/peeing FTW! Click through for more shots.
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Antique Ball And Chain: Wife Not Included
Ah, the old ball and chain. Or as I call it, a $600 marriage simulator. Just attach this baby to your leg and get to dragging it. It isn’t a perfect simulation. I mean, you won’t have anyone nagging you about your glass leaving rings on the furniture, or complaining about that new power drill you bought for her birthday, but you will be sore and hurting after about a week with this thing.
I kid. I kid. My wife is great. And by wife, I mean cat. I still have to feed her and provide for her like a real woman, but she doesn’t hiss nearly as loud when I do something wrong. And you can’t get the wife de-clawed! Am I right fellows?*waits for high five that never comes* Sigh. I am so so lonely.
Yes, I will scratch between your ears. Yes, I’ll get the fancy food you like. I told you, I’ll clean the litter box when I have time. You did what? Great. Poop on the bed. Real grownup. You did that because my mother is visiting. Don’t deny it.
Antique Articulated Wooden Co-Pilot
This antique wood man is almost life-sized and fully articulated. Perfect for the Creep-pooling lane. Just dress him up in some hip clothes. He already has a carved face and everything. He will be your new best buddy for $5,499.99. I would hang my GPS from his neck and give him a voice.
What do you mean turn right? It’s a dead end. Why do you always do this to me? This is what I get after buying you that sweet track-suit and sunglasses? We’re not hanging anymore man! It’s over. I’m about to open that door and kick you onto some highway pal! No. No, I’m sorry. The ride just wouldn’t be the same without you man. Forgive me? It’s all cool bro. Just going through some stuff. People just don’t understand about you and me. Fist bump!
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Antique Photo Of Rare Japanese Frog Baby
Holy Frog F**k! Some strange stuff goes down on this planet. This $400. 1900-1910 medical documentation cabinet photograph shows an anencephalic baby, which is basically a baby born without a brain. So, why is a blogger without a brain sharing this with you? Because education is important fool. Plus, I’m really tripped out by how much this baby looks like an X-Man mutant. Look out Professor X, it’s about to flick it’s tongue. Time for a psychic attack. Too late, I licked it’s skin and am tripping balls. Call in the Wolverine!
In all serious, at one time, babies born with this defect were called “frog babies” and placed into jars as sideshow attractions. It’s weird as hell.