This art piece is appropriately called “He Only Calls Me When He’s Horny“. For the record, I just get busy. I mean to call, but then I get distracted by work, video games, action figures, and writing Star Wars fan-fiction, in that order. By then my schedule is clear enough to fit some other things in. It’s just a coincidence that I’m horny at that time. It has nothing to do with Jar-Jar fisting an Ewok.
Now that that is clear, this phone looks like the devil. And it is totally horny. For some extra creepy reason, it has a soundboard inside that makes it cry like a baby. Only $250.
Hey Larpers and nerds of other stripes. Are you a Wizard in need of a staff? You could do far worse than to buy this 
Don’t let
How much are you willing to pay for a box of slides like the ones in Dexter Morgan’s trophy case? This 
You know how it is when you’re living with your grandfather. Old folks start forgetting everything you say the minute you say it. Every time they make toast the smoke detector goes off. Matlock is on the TV 24/7, only broken up by the occasional Golden Girls marathon. Then when you take them out of the house, it’s all, here let me get that sonny, and they pay with every penny they have ever collected, out of a coin purse that must be bigger on the inside like a TARDIS. Well, it might be time to get some nursing help, or put him in a home. Or you could just shove the old coffin dodger in a grandfather clock. That’s why they named it that, right? Must be. Seems legit.