Tag: art

Joker Crafts: Batman The Dark Knight Journal

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Batman The Dark Knight JournalThis Batman: The Dark Knight Journal looks like it was made by the Joker himself. It’s so nice that Arkham Asylum provides its guests with arts and crafts projects. You can write all of your deepest darkest desires in this fun journal as well as contemplate any of life’s burning questions. Like, “Why so serious?”

And if you are crazy enough, you might open it up later to find that someone else has answered your question. In your handwriting.
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Demonic Tampon Machine Demands Blood

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tampon machineI can’t imagine anything scarier than a woman in need of a tampon who enters a public restroom only to encounter this terrifying tampon dispensing machine. This thing actually works. You can buy it for $75, fill it with tampons and hang it in a restroom somewhere, getting rich 25 cents at a time.

Until some angry and cramping PMS sufferer smashes it with a baseball bat anyway. Oh well. Was a good plan anyway.

*Angry woman busts through the door* WHO PUT THAT OFFENSIVE POS ON THE BATHROOM WALL?

*Me pointing to some random dude* It was him. He also said you look bloated. I said you have a soft glow about you. I’ll just get out of the way as you unleash your inner once-a-month-fury on him, while pretending you see your husband’s face.

This Medusa Handbag Will Turn You To Stone

Artemis Winterford1 Comment

medusa purseIn Greek mythology Medusa was beheaded by the hero Perseus. Now she is a Purse. That’s what Perseus does. He makes purses out of all of his enemies. That’s because he owned a little boutique in Athens. Dude was all about fashion. And making accessories out of his victims. Makes sense right? I should be a history teacher.

Don’t look into her eyes! She will turn you to stone and then what will you do? It’s not like you have a little robot owl buddy to help you out, like in that Clash of the Titans movie. Basically you will be all like:

I LOOKED! WHY DID I LOOK? BECAUSE I WANTED TO GET MY WALLET OUT AND PUT ON SOME LIPSTICK! WHY? WHY DID I BUY A PURSE THAT CAN TURN ME TO FRIGGIN STONE? EVERYONE THINKS I’M A STATUE NOW! IS THAT A DOG PEEING ON MY LEG?
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Condom Porcelain Doll Sculpture: That Rascal Is Wrapped

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condom statueI don’t even know what to say about this condom wrapped Durex mummy. Yeah I do. It looks like a Trojan factory worker took someone hostage and just used what they had handy to tie him up. Let’s see what the seller says. The seller’s words are in italics. My responses are bold.

“Trappings I” is a piece that demands inquiry.

Yeah, like why the f did you do it? Also, any other hobbies we should know about? Last inquiry: Do your hands smell like lube?

It arrests the attention of anyone looking at it.

Yeah, my attention is all handcuffed and beat with a baton. Can’t even make out your badge number through my black eye. Still swear I smell lube. Is that thing gonna stink worse or less as it sits on the mantel?

Not only due to the stark contrast of the actual materials used, but once one begins to question why they were used, a real debate can open up. This piece speaks to social issues that are raging even now. The interpretation is of course up to the viewer, but there were real issues I wanted to bring up with this piece.

We already know why you used the materials you used. It’s better they don’t go to waste. At least they were used for something. The only debate is whether you have any left over for future projects. Depends what kind of a deal you got on an economy pack. As far as issues the artist wanted to bring to this piece, oh yeah, you brought ’em! This piece is full of issues.
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The Anatomy of Yoda

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yoda anatomyJudge me by my blood and guts do you? This Yoda anatomy figure puts the Jedi master’s insides on display since you don’t have the power of the Force to use x-ray vision. Sadly, it looks like it is already promised to a buyer.

Just like that doughnut in the shop they wouldn’t let me have yesterday. Shoulda tried to force-lift that tasty morsel into my mouth, but who has the energy for that after downing two doughnuts already? Yeah, my Jedi training on Dagobah would involve a lot of standing still and summoning food my way. I’m a blubber, not a fighter. X-Wing out of a swamp? No thanks. Twinkie out of the box? I WILL return to complete my training.
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