Tag: barbie

Limited Edition Demon Barbie Doll

Artemis Winterford1 Comment

demon barbie doll
OMG! It’s Cloven Hoof Barbie! Can I get it mommy? Can I? *Mom is busy taking selfies and making duck lips* That’s nice dear, just put it in the cart.

That was my childhood. Thanks for not being there, random dude I don’t know, who may or may not be my dad, and who wasn’t there to make me play with tools and trucks so I could be all manly. I never did get that Limited Edition Demon Barbie Doll, because mom had to give the guy in the parking lot a $20 in exchange for a small bag of baking powder. But I did leave wearing some new high heels that no one noticed.

Broken homes are no joke people. It made me the Sex in the City watching man I am today.
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Crazy Demonic Succubus Barbie Doll Made With Cat Bones

Artemis Winterford2 Comments

succubus demon barbie
I always knew that Barbie was a demon spawn from hell, bent on ruining the lives and the credit scores of those she touches with her fiery demon heart. Sorry, was talking about my ex Barbie, who is also a succubus. No, this doll actually looks much friendlier.

According to the seller this Barbie is named “Lacertia and she comes from the planet Nocturnia, a magnetic colossal asteroid. When she isn’t shopping, she is destroying other worlds with a smile on her face!”

See, now I’m confused, because it sounds like the demon I knew.

This doll was modified using Bobcat bones, with cat bones in her wings and scythe. It’s like the Grim Reaper is a little girl and this is the toy that daddy Reaper conjured up for her. This doll probably lives in the Malibu Nightmare house and sleeps in a cocoon of Ken’s skin.
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The Anorexic Dead: Zombie Barbies

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zombie barbies
Hey, it’s Barbie. The doll that spawned a thousand eating disorders. Now she’s a zombie and wants brains. Well, she has always needed a brain, she just wasn’t smart enough to know it. Now she will rip it from your dead and bleeding skull just like she did with Ken’s nut sack.

You can choose from Lindsay Nohand, Britney Speared, Messica Simpson, ZooEYE Deschanel and more. Funny thing is, Barbie is eating better as a Zombie than she ever did as an ordinary waif/trollop. If she keeps eating those brains she might actually put some meat on her bones. It would be rotting corpse meat, but still.
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Decapitated Barbie Head Wedge Shoes

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barbie shoesTeach that bubble-headed blonde bimbo, Barbie, a thing or two, by letting the air in her head heads hold you upright. Be like Ken and walk all over Barbie. These weird shoes are a staggering $264.99, but sadly are out of stock.

We will just have to work out our aggression toward Barbie by ripping some heads off on our own and stomping all over them.

Creepy Cyborg Barbie With Arm Whipping Action

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Cyborg BarbieBarbie is a role model for anorexic girls everywhere. The doll has probably done young girls more harm than a million Miley Cyrus’ twerking ever could. That’s why it would be awesome if the Borg assimilated her. Resistance is futile b*tch. Go ahead and run into your Malibu beach house. They will find you and you will become part of the collective.
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