Tag: bats

Cool Vampire Bat Wall Sculptures

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Cool Vampire Bat Wall Sculptures
These Cool Vampire Bat Wall Sculptures are a creepy and cool addition to your home. They’ll drive you batty. Cuz they look like they are about to dive bomb you and get all up in your business.

You can hang them in your home or put them in your garden. Seriously, they look like they are screaming at you as they are attacking. I’ll have to rethink these, cuz I already have a wife. Why do I want two more? What am I some kind of Bat-Mormon? Everybody stop screaming at me! I rue the day I included bats in this marriage! Can’t we all just get along?

Bats & Black Pearls Cat Eye Sunglasses

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Bats & Black Pearls Cat Eye Sunglasses
Whoa! Who’s that cat-eyed vixen walking down the street so sexy and sure of herself? It could be you! That’s who! Imagine yourself all cattin’ around and battin’ around with these Bats & Black Pearls Cat Eye Sunglasses. Looking like the cat who ate the canary- Wait. Is that really yellow feathers on the side of your mouth? Dissss-gusting girl!

What exactly are you hiding behind those sunglasses? Oh I see. The bright red eyes of a bird-eating vampire. Well, I guess you have to get blood where you can find it. Come to think of it, you’re talking to a whole bag full of blood right now. *gulp* *Loosens collar nervously. Come to think of it- Tightens it again* Yeah, it was nice meeting you. Heh. I’ll just- I have stuff to do. For people who know where I am and are expecting me. Heh. Good luck on your feeding. *Zips away like a cartoon*
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Gothic Shoulder Bags For Your iPad

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Gothic Shoulder Bags For Your iPad
These creepy Gothic Shoulder Bags For Your iPad from iRebell will protect your tablet while creeping other people the hell out. That’s always a good thing. Bats are cool. Screw people who don’t get that. Bats are awesome. Sometimes I hang upside down just to be all cool like them. Then I fall on my head and forget what I was doing. The problem is I don’t have sonar. I can get a bonar just fine, ask the ladies, but no sonar. And I will wrap my wings around you and nibble on your neck just like a bat though. I’m very bat-like is what I’m trying to say. If bats were huge in the middle and were barely able to fly and munching on cheese balls all day.
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Cute And Creepy: Little Winter Bats

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Cute And Creepy Little Winter Bats
Winter Bats wear winter hats and like to terrorize winter cats. I think I heard that somewhere. Anyway, it’s time to prepare for winter. Do you have your winter boots? Winter hat? Winter Bat? I guess you’re all set. Unlike me who always waits until December to get my winter bats and then they are always sold out. I feel like a real idiot too, walking in the snow while everyone else’s winter bats hold up their scarfs by the ends like birds flapping around Cinderella. Me? My scarf just hangs there. *Sad face.*

Why the sad face? You could order one right now.

Hmmmm… Nah. I got time.

Metal Bats Bookends

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Metal Bats Bookends
“Bats”. By me.

They hide in your belfries
where they like to take selfies.
They fly in your hair
and give you a scare.
They like to make guano.
and hate U2’s bono.

That was “Bats”. By me.

Check out these cool Metal Bats Bookends. It puts bats all up in your belfry. No guano. Unless your books are really bad.