Tag: winter

Awesome Nightmare Before Christmas Scarf

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Awesome Nightmare Before Christmas Scarf
Are there any big “Nightmare Before Christmas” fans out there? What kind of question is that? Of course, there are millions of you. It’s been a long time since this film came out but one just can’t forget how awesome it was. They don’t make ’em like that anymore. I mean, they try, but they can never hit those lofty heights. Or maybe it’s just me being sentimental. Check out this awesome Nightmare Before Christmas Graveyard scarf that will help you keep warm as you hold on to the memories of the movie.

Jack would love this scarf.

Scarecrow Face Warmer Mask

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Scarecrow Face Warmer Mask
I’m gonna get a Scarecrow Face Warmer Mask and sing in the forest.

I could while away the hours
Conferrin’ with the flowers,
Consulting with the rain;
And my head I’d be a scratchin’
While my thoughts are busy hatchin’
If I only had a brain.

Then a girl from Kansas would spot me. I would turn around and she would scream and run away terrified. Which is cool cuz I’m not from Kansas and I’m not interested in a long distance relationship right now.

The Truth is Out There X-Files Scarf

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

The Truth is Out There X-Files Scarf
I hear ya. Why would I buy an X-Files Scarf in the middle of the summer? That’s what you’re thinking. Well, that’s what they want you to think. It’s a conspiracy, wrapped in a riddle, inside of an enigma, inside of a pit that holds a quagmire. They don’t want you to have a scarf and be prepared for the cold weather to come. So they hide the truth. Right in plain sight. Is it really summer? Are you sure? Maybe a false summer created by planes spraying chemtrails, cuz they modify the weather, cuz aliens need a warmer climate.

Buy this scarf, cuz when the resistance grounds those chemtrail planes and makes the planet colder, you’re gonna need it. Hope you like snow you alien freaks!
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Cute And Creepy: Little Winter Bats

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Cute And Creepy Little Winter Bats
Winter Bats wear winter hats and like to terrorize winter cats. I think I heard that somewhere. Anyway, it’s time to prepare for winter. Do you have your winter boots? Winter hat? Winter Bat? I guess you’re all set. Unlike me who always waits until December to get my winter bats and then they are always sold out. I feel like a real idiot too, walking in the snow while everyone else’s winter bats hold up their scarfs by the ends like birds flapping around Cinderella. Me? My scarf just hangs there. *Sad face.*

Why the sad face? You could order one right now.

Hmmmm… Nah. I got time.

Cable Knit Sweater Pillar Candles

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

cable knit sweater candleIt is getting downright cold outside. It’s time for sweaters, fleece and mittens. It’s so cold, even the candles are starting to dress for winter. Take these Cable Knit Sweater Pillar Candles. They’re dressed up all warm and cozy, just like you and me.

I saw these last week and thought I could make my own. Long story short, a few sweaters glued around a wick and reinforced with earwax that I had laying around don’t make for a safe candle. Or as the fireman said, “It’s this idiot again guys. Let it burn!” Then later while I was sipping hot cocoa with a blanket around me, “Son, you are a special kind of stupid. Should you even be living on your own?”

Well duh! I’ve been saying that for years. Anyone have a sweater? I’m freezing here.