Tag: beast

Bizarre Creature Captured in Azerbaijan

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Bizarre Creature Captured in Azerbaijan
This video shows some kind of hairy bizarre creature allegedly captured in the former Soviet republic of Azerbaijan. It is pretty damn weird and pretty damn hairy. It has a hairless face surrounded by a mass of fur. And those eyes.They just dart around like this thing is looking for it’s next meal. The creature also has black fingernails. Later in the video, it walks around on two legs all creepy-like.

Did they adopt this freak of nature? Where did the couple find it? Also, it looks like they may have put a small pair of pants on it and socks. Hard to tell. Are they even going to shave that hairy beast? So many questions.

https://youtu.be/Sxb0CEwai4U

Cthulhu Neckties

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Cthulhu Neckties
Before the days of Etsy if you wanted a Cthulhu Necktie you had to go out and buy an octopus and let it live on the back of your neck, tentacles going down your chest. Eventually it would merge with you and share your mind-space. If you kept it moist enough it would even shake hands with your business associates for you.

Well, those days are gone. But that disgusting slimy feeling on the back of your neck lasts forever. Now you can just buy a tie with Cthulhu on it. We are living in an amazing age.

Bigfoot Beer Glasses

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Bigfoot Beer Glasses
Get a set of 2 Bigfoot Beer Glasses. That way you can do like I do. Drink one and leave one out on the back porch for Bigfoot. Pro tip: He likes a stout ale. You pour anything else for him and you’ll be cleaning thrown feces off the back deck for a week. He’s such a baby!

Then if you don’t give him a beer at all he’s all like, I’m just gonna walk around all night grunting outside of your window and leave huge footprints while I whine like a wuss.

The intervention is next week. I still have to order the tranquilizer darts and body armor.