Well what do we have here? Looks like New Jersey’s very own cryptid. Of course “Jersey Devil” could also be referring to that rash you get after frequenting a Jersey prozzie, but I think we’re talking about the mythical creature. Pretty sure. This Jersey Devil Pint Glass features a creature that looks scared of us for once. Awesome. We just turned the tables. I’m sick of being scared of you monsters. Now you can be scared of me while I drink beer from you.
Tag: mythical creature
The Goat Man vs The Chupacabra Salt And Pepper Shakers
Ladies and gentlemen, the match you have been waiting for. No, not my butt, your face! The Goat Man vs The Chupacabra. It’s the goat vs the goat sucker. The South American sucker vs the horned half-man. Fight! Oh no. The Goat Man has left the ring and is eating all the trash. What’s this? The Chupacabra has jumped off the top rope and clothes lined the Goat Man. The Chupacabra is doing all it can to suck the blood from the Goatman, but all the goatman wants to do is eat the arena garbage…
Make every meal an episode of In Search of… Or sightings, or Ancient Aliens or whatevs. You determine who is salt and who is pepper. These crazy cryptids want to spice up your life.
Bigfoot Nesting Dolls: Matryo-Squatch
Bigfoots have a natural nesting instinct. They like to build nests out of dead tree limbs and stuff. So it makes sense that Bigfoot would be part of a nesting doll set. Etsy seller licoricewits has two cool sets of Bigfoot nesting dolls available. Better get ’em before they are gone and there is no photographic evidence. *Raises wrist to check my Sasquatch Watch.* I predict these will be gone within the hour. That’s when I plan to buy them and let out a huge Wookie-type roar.
The first set features Bigfoot, the Jersey Devil and the Cupacabra. The second set is a Bigfoot family.
Read more “Bigfoot Nesting Dolls: Matryo-Squatch”
Unicorn Skull Mask
Here’s why unicorn masks like this Unicorn Skull mask might not be a good idea:
That’s one kick-ass unicorn mask ya got there, honey. It really looks awesome. Hows about a kiss? Just lean forward and- Owwwwww! My eye! My eye! Blood everywhere! An eye on the tip of your horn! Now I’ll never be able to use the Oculus Rift and experience awesome VR! On the other hand, I hear that monocles are a thing again thanks to those damn dirty hipsters. Oh well. Time to shop the cyclops shop for a new eye. Maybe something in blue.
Unicorn masks. Beware! They are not a good idea!
In the kingdom of the blind, a one-eyed man is king. Until a unicorn takes his one eye out anyway. This dark unicorn skeleton necklace is a much safer. choice You can proudly wear the skeleton of this majestic creature and marvel at the wonder of this magical being. It is a great piece of goth jewelry that is much less likely to take your eye out, while catching the eyes of others. By the way, is it weird that this mask kind of turns me on? I do like a cute girl in unicorn wear.
Read more “Unicorn Skull Mask”
Bigfoot Beer Glasses
Get a set of 2 Bigfoot Beer Glasses. That way you can do like I do. Drink one and leave one out on the back porch for Bigfoot. Pro tip: He likes a stout ale. You pour anything else for him and you’ll be cleaning thrown feces off the back deck for a week. He’s such a baby!
Then if you don’t give him a beer at all he’s all like, I’m just gonna walk around all night grunting outside of your window and leave huge footprints while I whine like a wuss.
The intervention is next week. I still have to order the tranquilizer darts and body armor.