Fetuses are gettin’ all holographic up in this biatch. Goin all matrix. Did it choose the red pill or the blue pill? I have no idea, but I know it’s name is Neo. Neo-natal! Zing! Didn’t see that one coming did ya? I’ve been gestating that one for nine months. Got it out just in time too. My back was killing me! This Holographic Fetus Pendant looks like it’s sucking some serious Matrix tit-ee milk!
Tag: bizarre
So People Are Eating Tide Pods
Humans are basically trash. Despite the fact that it says that it’s poison right on the label, humans are now eating Tide Pods. It’s also a fad to use them as vodka chasers. These moronic millennials are so “woke” they don’t know they are halfwits. But the rest of us are aware. Speaking of halfwits, I was going to show you a cool video from slazo that talked about the worst of these Tide pods challenges and very fairly put these morons in their place, but the folks who run youtube took his video down, cuz God forbid you talk about current events. Meanwhile this CBS Tide pod video remains up. Cuz you know. Establishment. We live in a stupid world.
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Creepy and Macabre iPhone Cases
I love these Creepy and Macabre iPhone Cases. They’re classy and I’m all about the class. I fact, I class up the joint just by being here. I think I can safely say that I’m all class with no sass and if you don’t like it you can kiss my- Anyway, these iPhone cases are pretty sweet. KeywayDesigns has a nice selection of fancy looking cases to choose from, but obviously the creepiest and weirdest are the best. Like their sugar skull and kraken offerings for instance. That Kraken is gonna avoid crackin’ on your screen. Give your phone a scary makeover while keeping it looking upscale.
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Fart-Tracking Pill Is Totally Unnecessary
So here’s the deal. A research team has developed this pill, which looks like some robo-turd and measures hydrogen, carbon dioxide and oxygen gases in the gut in real time. So it basically tracks farts. Me? I don’t need this pill cuz I track farts with my nose. Sometimes I even grade the fart on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the smell of a festering corpse left out in the sun in a landfill and stuffed with cabbage. I don’t need anyone else to take this pill either cuz guess what? I smell your farts too. And that one guy two cubicles down is nailing the high 8 barrier today bigtime. I bet he felt the heat on his cheeks when he unleashed that last one.
Therefore your fart pill is useless. Wanna know if you have digestive issues? How nasty is your steaming fecal cloud? That’ll tell ya. The nose knows.
via CNet (Careful of their super loud and super annoying auto play video, which scared a magnitude 10 fartquake from my San Andr-anus fault cuz I had the sound way up.)
Nice Chompers – Coin Cavity Purse
This Coin Cavity Purse will try to bite you every time you put change in or take change out. Plus obsessive compulsives will have to brush and floss these pearly whites every time they open it. That’s a nice set of chompers. You know how you hate that old lady who is always holding up the checkout line cuz she’s paying in change? Now you can be that person, except others won’t be pissed off at you, they’ll be scared. Of you and for you. And I don’t blame them.