Tag: bloody

Bloody Shark Bathtub Drain Stopper

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Bloody Shark Bathtub Drain Stopper
Damn that’s nasty. This Bloody Shark Bathtub Drain Stopper makes it look like a shark has swam up your bathtub pipe after a ferocious and bloody meal and just kinda got stuck there. Now he’s just hanging out, enjoying the suds from your bubbles, while you two make small talk. Hopefully he doesn’t get loose and start swimming toward your junk.

“What do you have detective?”

*Hovers over body in tub* “This is the second one this week. We appear to have a serial killer. One that likes to eviscerate nads while the victim is enjoying a nice bubble bath. Nothing else is touched. When he finishes his work, he drains the water and with it the evidence. Notice the blood wiped on this guy’s lips. It’s as if something very small and very bloody kissed him afterwards, all ritualistic like. Sicko!”

Fin!
(Haha. Get it? It means the end. Also shark fin! I rock. No…. I Rock Z. Ha ha. I did it again. Like the car. Iroc Z. Other writers can suck it!)

Bloody Skeleton Hand Journal

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bloody skeleton hand journalWhether you are jotting down some random thoughts, or writing the next great novel, this Bloody Skeleton Hand Journal says “Stay the hell out of my journal. The last guy to page through my journal lost a hand. He also bumped into a lit candle and dripped red wax allll over the damn thing. It was a mess. The pages are still sticking together! So just don’t! Please! Totally ruined that My Little Pony/Doctor Who fan fiction I was writing. Rainbow Dash and the Doctor had just kissed. I can’t even-”

*shudders* Write? I mean right? Keep your hand off my journal. And stop being a klutz. You almost burned the place down.

This Bloody Pillow Is Bloody Soft

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bloody pillow
Use this Bloody Pillow to prank your friends into thinking they are walking into a murder scene, because nothing says friendship like simulating murder and pretending to be a corpse lying in your own blood. I’m not judging. Different strokes for different folks.

I’m gonna buy it because it’s soft and comfy, not because it makes it look like I am bleeding from the head. If anyone happens to see me napping and call the cops, it wouldn’t be the first time. Of course last time it was because I just overdosed on red skittles and tomato juice while at the beach. Odd combination? Sure, but you gotta get your daily intake of vegetables in somehow. I had been drooling for like two hours. I vaguely remember Greenpeace saying they had never seen a whale so grotesque, but after that I blacked out.

Zombie Head Candles: Do I Smell Brains?

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zombie candles
These small zombie candles look like Simpsons zombies. Sure, you’ll smell their brains burning, but at least you get to watch some heads bleed and melt. The seller says that their names are Homer, Eyegore, Homer with blood and Fergal.

You can get them with or without blood splatters. They are perfect for Halloween or as a stress reliever. Call me crazy, but there’s something soothing about watching heads melt. Maybe that’s just me.

Bloody Horror Candle

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blood candle
If you live in a house of horrors, where the walls bleed, the sink bleeds and otherworldly voices tell you to get out, this Bloody Horror Candle won’t even be noticed. But if you have a nice calm house that wasn’t sold to you by a demonic Realtor, this candle should scare your guests all by itself.

As it melts, it drips blood and just looks like a nightmare in general. On the other hand it does smell like crisp apples, with a touch of orange and spice. Smells bloody delicious.