Tag: craft fail

Just Your Everyday Illuminati / Black Magic Teddy Bear Lamp

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Just Your Everyday Illuminati Black Magic Teddy Bear Lamp
Looky here. An Illuminati Teddy Bear Lamp. Also claims to be black magic. They also had Voodoo in their title. I’m surprised they didn’t mention Santeria. I had that once. I’m pretty sure it means having the runs during Christmas. Seriously though, this thing has some bad juju. I think they confused illuminati with illumination. Obvious mistake. Now ya got some half crazed devil teddy bear with a lamp on his head making you worship some freaky deity every night.

Hey, I don’t judge. You wanna have a scare-bear go for it. You won’t find this thing on my night stand. Don’t mess with the illuminati. Period. End of story, That’s all she wrote. Because a demon bear attacked her. Illuminati. As in Illumi-NOT-I. Ain’t gonna have it.

Click through for an image of a half crazed feline under it’s spell.
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Zombie Apocalypse Necklace

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Zombie Apocalypse Necklace
When in the middle of the zombie apocalypse, you gotta look cool. Wear something freaky and intimidating so zombies know you mean business. Like a necklace full of babies. That’s what the Zombie Apocalypse Necklace is. You’re also gonna need a baby on board sign. Cuz you know, you got babies on board.

Hey babies. Get on my neck! That’s right zombies, if I have a neck full of babies, I won’t have a problem chopping your head off. Yeah, that’s what I thought! Keep shuffling, you brain craving freak.

Can be worn as a necklace or as a creepy baby beard.

Patricia Craftfail

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Patricia Craftfail
Wowzers! I don’t even know what to say. This thing goes by the name Patricia. *Speaks to the 40 year old corpse in the rocking chair.* Do you like my art mother? I made this just for you. It has your name.

Some artists work in clay or paint. This one works in screws, nails and cigarettes to burn things with. On the plus side, it’s apparently poseable, so you can display it in your cabinet of horrors in a variety of poses.

Piddle Pail: It’s a Lunch Box You Pee In

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Piddle Pail: It's a Lunch Box You Pee In
Piddle Pail. It’s exactly what it sounds like. A lunch box that you pee in. Cuz why not? I get that you have to pee and sometimes the rest room is not available. But making the container out of a lunch box? That’s either genius or some insane asylum inspiration right there.

Just pee in the hose and add to your collection. I hope dad grabbed the right lunch box this morning. Uh-Oh!

Crazy Halloween Cat Doll

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Crazy Halloween Cat Doll
Halloween cat doll.
Hear her roar.

Got her own pet name.
It’s Pussums Galore.

Got her own montage.
This feline is the shizz.

Steppin’ to her box.
Gonna take a whizz.

I have no idea what this is. It’s a “Halloween Cat Doll”. Shown in a nice montage. She appears to have a decorative staff in one hand and a pumpkin in the other, so she’s ready to kick butt.
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