Tag: creature

Mad Scientist Youtubers Creating Homunculus Creatures

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Mad Scientist Youtubers Creating Homunculus CreaturesSo if you aren’t familiar with the whole “Youtubers are f**ked up and now creating creatures that will kill us all” situation that is unfolding, check out this video. Youtubers are trying to create a creature known as a homunculus. Some sort of smallish nasty humanoid creature. Why? For sh*ts and giggles apparently. First they take a chicken egg or other egg and a syringe of human sperm. Then they inject the sperm into the egg and wait. What happens next is usually terrifying, when it isn’t some hoax. I’m looking at you, guy that used a prawn and tried to fake us out.

In one of the videos shown here, the creature actually moves and freaks its creator out so badly that he smashes it with a book and the thing has what looks like blood inside. Another guy tries it using a giant Ostrich egg. Way to go Einstein, using an egg that big is going to produce a world ending creature.

Are these real? No idea. But it creeps me the hell out. YouTube needs to stay away from mad science!

Weird Foot Creature With Dripping Mucus Action

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Weird Foot Creature With Dripping Mucus Action
Um…. WTF! This Weird Foot Creature With Dripping Mucus Action is messed up. It’s has a foot body, with snot dripping from two holes, there’s a head on the other side with more toys coming out from under the chin and the thing has feet of it’s own. Either this is a thing that actually exists or I just started randomly tripping balls. Both of those things are possible. Either way, I just want it to end.
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The Stones Have Eyes!

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The Stones Have Eyes!
The Stones have eyes! Have you seen that movie? Me either, but now I know it’s true. Well, all of the Stones have eyes, it’s true, except Keith Richards, who is all robot now. Is it just me or do these rocks look slightly… stoned? Anyway, they look weird and cool and they have eyes. They are ready to rock! Granite, they can’t really see you, but they will look cool on your shelf. I thought I saw a cobweb on one. Does that mean they have web-site? So many rock jokes, so little time. Anywho, get yourself some cool rocks with eyes.

One final joke. How are these stones like a Camaro? Eye-roc. Get it? I’m so sorry…

Chinese Loch Ness Monster Spotted

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Chinese Loch Ness Monster Spotted
This is a cell phone video from China that supposedly shows a mysterious creature briefly emerging from a lake while a bunch of onlookers panic and make noise. The footage was filmed at a lake in China’s Louping County, and shows a dark object causing ripples on the surface of the water. Then another part of the creature suddenly pops up out of the lake and witnesses can be heard gasping and shouting some more.

Let’s see, we have bubbling and ripples on the water. My research suggests that this is yet another case of the “Nessie farting” phenomenon. No wonder the witnesses are freaking out. Nessie farts reak. Nessie rips some farts and the bubbles rise, rippling the water when they hit the surface. Sometimes you lose control and poop hits the surface. Don’t believe me? Get in the bathtub and let one rip. I just tested my theory a minute ago. In fact I’m still in the tub. Just did it again. Hang on, gotta plug my laptop in again. Rips a huge one. Hey, look at me, I’m Nessie.

*Creates a wave that hits my laptop and electrocutes me for like ten minutes. We’ll talk later when I get out of my coma.*
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Fetus Keychain

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Fetus Keychain
Man I lose my keys all of the time. You know why? Cuz they arent attached to a giant pink fetus, obviously. There’s no way you lose your keys when there’s a fetus involved. Oh and the Fetus Keychain is squishy, so, you know, feel free to use it as a stress reliever or just strangle your fetus for no reason. I ain’t judging. They look like little aliens. It goes with this fetus for your wall.