Wear these Audrey II “Feed Me” Creature Boots and they will devour anything in your path. I only ask one thing, Please no kicking me in the balls as your boots will retreat with my balls when you are done. They have crystal and metal spikes and each toe features a hand sculpted Audrey II carnivorous plant with blood dripping detail. Are you hungry for fashion? Good cuz fashion is hungry for you!
Tag: creature
Mermaid Freaks Out When Caught On Camera
Mermaids. Those bare-breasted sirens of the sea. Those breasts are not for mortal man to see, as proven in this video. Some guy caught a mermaid sunbathing on a rock and when she notices that she’s being filmed, she freaks out and scurries off back into the sea. Mankind will have to wait another day, or perhaps a year, or a century, to see mermaid breasts, the most elusive breasts in nature.
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Fishermen Find Dead Werewolf In River
The story goes that two fishermen were out fishing when they discovered a werewolf corpse, lying in the shallow water. Here’s what I think happened:
I think there were 3 fishermen. One went to the edge of the woods to take a dump cuz that’s what you do, and you stay on the edge of the woods cuz the woods is scary. So he dropped his pants and so he wouldn’t get killed by a strange beast, took a dump facing the forest. One of the other 2 fishermen, unbeknownst to all, was a werewolf. This guy happened to look over at his friend who was making like a hershey factory, saw his full moon and transformed into a werewolf. A werewolf who was so distraught at seeing such a hairy ass in such an act, committed suicide right there by drowning.
Now isn’t that far more likely?
via Freaklore
A Globetrotter’s Guide to Bigfoot T-Shirt
This A Globetrotter’s Guide to Bigfoot T-Shirt is a handy shirt for the traveller. It lets you know what to call Bigfoot in different areas of the world, as well as how they differ in appearance. So if you run into one, you can quickly identify it. I usually just identify it as “Holy s**t! Did you see that huge motherf**ker?”
Not as classy as this Bigfoot Shirt, but still.
Hermit Crab Uses Doll Head As A Shell
This Hermit Crab decided to use a doll head as a shell, cuz why not. Crabs are the spiders of the sea after all and have to look for new ways to be even creepier to keep up with their nightmarish land-based cousins. The creature was spotted by Reddit user jamspangle on Henderson Island, a south Pacific island known for having tons of litter deposited there by ocean currents. So basically crabs will just use any old thing as a shell. There’s probably a crab that is right now walking around wearing an old shoe or a used condom. Crabs are just nasty.
via UPI