Tag: creature

Bizarre Creature Captured in Azerbaijan

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Bizarre Creature Captured in Azerbaijan
This video shows some kind of hairy bizarre creature allegedly captured in the former Soviet republic of Azerbaijan. It is pretty damn weird and pretty damn hairy. It has a hairless face surrounded by a mass of fur. And those eyes.They just dart around like this thing is looking for it’s next meal. The creature also has black fingernails. Later in the video, it walks around on two legs all creepy-like.

Did they adopt this freak of nature? Where did the couple find it? Also, it looks like they may have put a small pair of pants on it and socks. Hard to tell. Are they even going to shave that hairy beast? So many questions.

https://youtu.be/Sxb0CEwai4U

Is This Creature a Skinwalker?

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Is This Creature a Skinwalker?
Is This Creature a Skinwalker? I have no idea. The video showed up on some dude’s Facebook page and he thinks it might be a cryptid or a skinwalker. The creature looks like it might have a trunk like an elephant, also might be a drunk bigfoot. It’s hard to tell thanks to this guy shaking the camera. Pro tip: Don’t quit meth until after you get the video, cuz withdrawal is a biatch and I can’t see cuz of your shaky 92 year old nerves. I’m just assuming. Also, don’t open your loud-ass car door and scare the thing off. It’s cuz of guys like this that we have no evidence of these creatures.

P.S. I thought I saw bong smoke when the door opened, but not sure. Which makes no sense cuz that would calm the shakes.
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Bigfoot Playing Cards

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Bigfoot Playing Cards
Bigfoot Playing Cards. Deal me in son! BAM! *Smacks cards on the table* Full house, Yetis high! Yeah, well I got a Sasquatch straight, which is better than a Sasquatch flush cuz we all know that Sasquatch don’t flush. And if he does, he just clogs the toilet. Deal ’em again. I may not have a good hand, but I got a “Big foot”. *Cackling laughter followed by the sound of a tooth falling onto the table.* Keep dealing. I’m having so many sightings I’m about to get my own Bigfoot show. Yuck yuck yuck!

You see how fun Bigfoot Playing Cards are? Forget hunting the dude and just enjoy a card game already.
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Loch Ness Monster Stalks Scottish Village

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Loch Ness Monster Stalks Scottish Village
The Lochness Monster has apparently left the water and is stalking a Scottish village. No doubt in search of the nasty Scottish dish known as Haggis. It is a little known fact that Nessie loves him some Haggis. So it was apparently just roaming around the countryside. Probably shouting, “HAGGIS! Where’s me fekking Haggis? I could also use a kilt! Me wee bits are gettin’ shrivelled in the chill!” He’s walking along, peeping in windows and scaring sheep and whatnot.

I think that this marks the first time that Nessie has been spotted outside of the Loch. Maybe he got Loched out! In which case he is out of Loch, I mean luck. I mean, it looks like a bad photoshop, but the thing is, monsters all look like bad photoshops anyway. Cuz they’re nasty!
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Sea Serpent Metal Art Bookends

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Sea Serpent Metal Art Bookends
See, this is why I never go in the water. There are too many things that can kill ya. Like Sea Serpents, which are worse than serpents cuz the sea. But I don’t mind having these Sea Serpent Metal Art Bookends on my shelf. Reminds me that life is dangerous. For dumbass sailors and the like. He’s just gonna eat that ship and there’s nothing you can do about it. And if you jump ship, something else is just gonna eat ya. No thanks.

Sea Serpent. Pffft! More like See serpent. Cuz when I See Serpent, I run!

Also check out these Kraken Bookends.
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