Tag: dead stuff

Mummified Frog Necklace

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Mummified Frog Necklace
Meet Morty, the Mummified Frog Necklace. I’m just guessing that’s his name. He looks like he’s doing a little yoga pose in there. Maybe Downward Frog or… Yeah I don’t know any other yoga poses. I’m about as flexible as a mafia payment plan. Anyway, you’re gonna look croaking in this necklace.

If I see you wearing it, I may even approach you and flirt with you. (Easy with that mace. I’m a good guy.) Maybe make a joke about how you and my tadpole should get together. You’d have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find another prince like me. And that’s nasty,so you might as well just settle. I’ll pick you up at 8.

Rocking Taxidermy Goat

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Rocking Taxidermy Goat
If the goat is rockin’ don’t come a knockin’. This Rocking Taxidermy Goat is definitely rocking. He’s pretty horny too, meaning that he has great big horns. Not meaning the other thing. What did you think I was implying? *Sigh.* That really get’s my goat. Get’s my goat and gets it rocking. The seller named it Mason. Obviously they never set it free, because that would have made him a Freemason. Can’t have that. Also, you can’t free something that is dead, so there’s that. The seller says:

Mason the rocking goat has a 300 lb threshold. Even your drunk uncle Louie can go for a whirl.

First, how did you know I had a drunk Uncle Louie and second, no he can’t, cuz he is tipping the scales at 400.

Vintage Bavarian Charivari Fox Teeth Locket

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Vintage Bavarian Charivari Fox Teeth Locket
This Vintage Bavarian Charivari Fox Teeth Locket is some jewelry with bite. *Puts my finger near it. Pulls it away.* This locket idea is crazy. Yeah, crazy like a fox. It’s nothin’ but teeth. This thing belongs on The X-Files. Ya know why? Cuz you wear this and you become Dana Scully. That teeth locket? Fox Molar. Ha ha ha. Get it? The tooth is out there!

If you do wear this, you’re gonna be one foxy lady. *Does the Jimi Hendrix guitar riff* C’mon, you know you’re a cute little heartbreaker… Foxy.

Vintage Bavarian Charivari Fox Teeth Locket

Vintage Bavarian Charivari Fox Teeth Locket

Garter Snake in Glass Snow Globe Display

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Garter Snake in Glass Snow Globe Display
Forget snow globes. Snake Globes are better. This Garter Snake in Glass Snow Globe Display will let you safely have a snake in the house that you can admire. Without having to run away screaming. This guy is posed like he meant to get trapped in that globe. He’s got a smile and everything. Looks like a damn snake school yearbook picture. He was voted most likely to succeed…in getting frozen in time and being gawked at by humans. Good job.

LOVE – Skeleton Calligraphy

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LOVE - Skeleton Calligraphy
Are you a lover of bones? A Skull connoisseur? Need some new bone decor for your house cuz it doesn’t have good bones? Well, check out this LOVE – Skeleton Calligraphy. These letters are made of bone and arranged to spell the word LOVE. Ah… Nothing says love like a bunch of bones. And remember Love spelled backwards is Evol, which means nothing. Forget I mentioned it.