Forget snow globes. Snake Globes are better. This Garter Snake in Glass Snow Globe Display will let you safely have a snake in the house that you can admire. Without having to run away screaming. This guy is posed like he meant to get trapped in that globe. He’s got a smile and everything. Looks like a damn snake school yearbook picture. He was voted most likely to succeed…in getting frozen in time and being gawked at by humans. Good job.
Tag: preserved
Hair Of The Sasquatch
Hows about a little hair of the Sasquatch? I’ve tried to get a sample of bigfoot hair myself, out in the wild, but every time I find some, the lab tests identify it as monkey pubes or whatever. Big foot is really hard to catch. I can’t even get any evidence on them. That Bigfoot probably grabbed a monkey and rubbed it on a tree just to throw me off his scent.
Anyway, you can get yourself some Sasquatch hair that has been preserved in glass. Alright, I’m gonna take a chance and get it. Better not be pubes again.
Preserved Maggot Filled Heart Pendant
Nothing says love like a Preserved Maggot Filled Heart Pendant. I love you. Here have some dead maggots. Because you wiggled your way into my rotting heart like a hungry maggot on a piece of meat that had been left out in the sun. And you just kept feeding on me… Our love is kinda weird.
Yeah, I should totally write greeting cards. And because I care enough to send the very best to those that I love, I’m getting this pendant for a very special lady. Maybe she will be my maggot queen. When I kiss her, she will turn into a fly. And that’s gonna be really annoying, cuz she’s gonna land on my food and stuff, so I’m gonna have to smack her with the flyswatter! Love is eternal sure, but don’t land on the filthy toilet seat with your fly legs and then land on my dinner!
Preserved Rat Skeleton In Wooden Coffin
Damn. That is one fancy funeral for a dead rat. This Preserved Rat Skeleton In Wooden Coffin makes a nice and morbid decoration. You know what his ghost said when it realized it was dead? Oh rats!
Sssshhhhhhhh!
Sorry. Gotta be respectful of all the other mourners here to pay their respects. Everybody’s leaving cubes of cheese in the casket. Man, the undertaker must have been drunk. I’ve seen better preserved Twinkies after they’ve been left outside for a month.
Well Preserved Thieving Elf Hand With Coin
How about a lil bit o’ the elf what thieved ya? What doya say Govner?
In the mid 19th century, many Northern European homes had issues with elves, the epidemic was not dissimilar to the infestation of rats or mice that many homes endure today. In the autumn if 1877, an impoverish farmer noticed his small savings of coins were rapidly dwindling despite the fact that he’d spent none of it. Fed up, he set a trap, days later he caught a small elf. As punishment for stealing his coins the old farmer lobbed off the creatures hand, still holding the man’s stolen coin. Countless attempts have been made to remove the coin but it remains today, still clutched in the grasp of the creature severed limb.
So I says to him…I don’t right know if at was the elf what thieved me…but he ad a hand init!
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