Tag: satan

Devil Child “Heartbreaker” Wearable Art

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Devil Child Heartbraker Wearable Art
This is a piece of wearable art that basically has you toting Satan around on your neck as he munches on somebody’s heart. You two can sing duets together.

Don’t go breaking my heart.
I couldn’t if I tried…

or

Give to me your leather.
Take from me, my face…

I’m not sure if they spelled “Heartbraker” wrong on purpose or not, but I am sure that if you walk around, outside of your home with this thing, you are gonna get a one way ticket to loon-town. The crazy house. Pharma mountain. Prozac Palace. The Quacker factory. The nut house. The Cuckoo’s nest. The coma condo.

But if you do wear this thing, take a road trip down south and blast “The Devil went down to Georgia” the whole way. You two will have a ball. Think of it as one last hurrah before the men in white coats arrive.

Satanic Rites of Gumby and Other Twisted Gumby Art Prints

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

satanic gumby
I always knew Gumby was into some bad stuff. He is an evil little clay turd. Here’s the proof. Behold, as Gumby is exposed for what he is. Here he is doing some weird Satanic ritual stuff. I’m not surprised that Pokey isn’t involved. God only knows what sick stuff he did to that little pony. I think they aim to summon clay Satan himself. You know, Clayton. The dark lord of clay.

This print is the work of Etsy seller ActFigPhotog. Click through for Gumby in the Manchurian Candidate and World War Z too.
Read more “Satanic Rites of Gumby and Other Twisted Gumby Art Prints”

Devil Phone Gives You a Direct Line To Hell

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

devil phoneThis art piece is appropriately called “He Only Calls Me When He’s Horny“. For the record, I just get busy. I mean to call, but then I get distracted by work, video games, action figures, and writing Star Wars fan-fiction, in that order. By then my schedule is clear enough to fit some other things in. It’s just a coincidence that I’m horny at that time. It has nothing to do with Jar-Jar fisting an Ewok.

Now that that is clear, this phone looks like the devil. And it is totally horny. For some extra creepy reason, it has a soundboard inside that makes it cry like a baby. Only $250.

Orange Orb Spider With Devil Face

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

devil spiderSpiders are nasty enough as they are, but now there is apparently a new breed on the loose. One that has Satan’s face right on it’s dump trumpet. At least that’s what the seller of this $10 spider corpse thinks. I think it looks more like a wizard frog standing on it’s hind legs, playing with fireballs.

The seller says that it was found in Indiana, so it looks like we all have yet another reason to never live there. This thing should be burned with fire immediately before the power of Satan compels it to rise from it’s deadly death state. See more images below as you itch all over.
Read more “Orange Orb Spider With Devil Face”

Clamcake Looks Like Satan, Is Probably Fiery Hot

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Satan ClamcakeBehold the Satan Clamcake! The master of the underworld has taken a new form on Earth and is just waiting for you to consume him. As soon as you go all nom nom nom and start eating this thing, you will feel a fiery burning as hell’s fury boils within you. Before you know it, you are Satan’s new vessel here on Earth.
Read more “Clamcake Looks Like Satan, Is Probably Fiery Hot”