Slinky Rabbit. It’s Slinky. It’s Slinky. It’s such a wonderful toy. Slinky! Slinky! It brings more terror than joy! WTF yo! Is it a toy or taxidermy? It’s both. Somehow. Made from a freeze-dried rabbit by the way. In case you were wondering. Imagine this thing slinking around and chasing you. They say it died of natural causes, but I have to wonder if those natural causes were a madman and an ax. They say that children are our future, and maybe. But the future has some f**ked up toys. What ever happened to wholesome toys like Monster Cereal catnip toys? You can’t escape the slinky rabbit.
Tag: etsy
Dentures Brooch – Haute Cou-Tooth
3…tooth…1… Looking for a fancy new Dentures Brooch? Here you go. It goes with anything. Wear it with a blazer, a sweater, wear it on your pants and if anyone asks you have an elder girlfriend who left them behind. Or that a hooker left them behind. AKA an in-dentured servant. I have no idea and that’s the tooth. I just work here and I spend most of the day napping. This dentures brooch is a dangly, toothy, do not brooch this subject brooch. It pairs well with the human teeth ring. Which sounds like some elderly gang who goes around stealing teeth, but it’s not.
Black Gothic Heart Wall Pocket
At first, I thought that this Black Gothic Heart Wall Pocket was where you keep the hearts of your enemies, but it’s just shaped like a heart. With an awesome skull on it too. Me? I wear my heart on my sleeve, not my pocket, so you could say I have a heart-on. And it is painted on my sleeve with a fire and barb wire design. So you could say it is a raging heart-on. Get it? No you don’t because I’m saving myself. For myself later tonight. It’s going to be very romantic, with candles, a bath and lots and lots of crying. But I definitely have a heart-on for this gothic decor. This wall pocket is perfect for a blood rose or some deadly herbs. It has an old world charm with a suitable creepy vibe for your home.
Wall pockets make me think of hot pockets, so now I’m hungry. I’m off to get some food, but before I go, don’t forget that you can also check out this cool Black Heart Soap. They look just like real hearts, but instead of blood on your hands, you’ll get soap all over your hands. Soap is much better.
Dark Violin Art – Wood Carved Skull and Bones
This is just the kind of weird art that we love. When was the last time you saw dark violin art that looked this cool? At a Yo Yo Ma concert? These violins from EngraversDungeonArt are more like Yo Yo WTF! I’ve never seen a musical instrument looking so cool and creepy. They have several designs available to grace your gothic halls and walls. Just be aware that this is a limited edition piece, with only 50 pieces that will ever be created and painted. So you better be quick about it. If you miss out, I’m just gonna laugh at you and play the world’s tiniest violin. You don’t want that because it sounds like a bunch of alley cats in heat and all in a pile doing the nasty, and they are not having fun. You ever hear that? Thank your lucky stars that you have not. Your ears would never be the same. Ask my former music teacher. Well, you could have asked him, but sadly now he’s deaf and shaking in a rubber room somewhere. This art is absolutely stunning, though. No bones about it. This classes up your castle while adding just the right amount of beautiful darkness.
Straight Outta The Coffin T-Shirt
Gang gang! This Straight Outta The Coffin T-Shirt is some serious gang shizz. The coffin gang. Definitely, the bloods then, not the crypts. Wear it and show your colors cuz you know the werewolf gang on the upper east side ain’t playin’ and stuff is about to pop off! They been lifting their legs in our hood and showing disrespect, pissing on every fire hydrant like the dogs they are. It’s war. It’s also starting to really smell bad.
Fresh out of your coffin? Also, check out this Coffin Zen Garden.
Straight Outta The Coffin
Ain’t been out dat often
My and my possie out for blood.
Pants are outta fashion
Like I’m expecting a flood.
Sipping O Negative like it was a positive
From my gothic pimp cup. It’s my prerogative.
Flying through the night with my bat homies
Sucking from the neck of a chick named Naomi.
I ain’t playing no garlic, I ain’t playing no cross.
Gotta make a note so I don’t forget to floss.
Teeth are all filed sharp as a razor.
I’m marking each victim with a mother f***ing laser.
Back to my coffin cuz I’m tired as sh*t
Been drinkin’ all night and it’s time to quit.