Tag: etsy

Crazy Creepy Scarecrow Masks

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Crazy Creepy Scarecrow Masks
I must be a bird cuz these Scarecrow Masks from darkmasks scare the bejeebus out of me. You know what happens when a bird sees these faces looking at ’em? They just explode in a mess of feathers and guts. That’s how scary these masks are.

This reminds me of that time I did a stand up routine for a room full of scarecrows. You can guess how that went. Yeah, I left them in stitches. I’d offer these scarecrows something to eat, but they’re already stuffed. Yeah, that’s just a little scarecrow humor. That’s the last straw I promise.
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Call Me Ouija Planchette Necklace

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Call Me Ouija Planchette Necklace
Hey girls. This fun Call Me Ouija Planchette Necklace is a great accessory. You put out the sign and I answered the call baby. Wait. I mean I called, cuz you told me too, and you answered the phone. That’s what I meant. You channeled my spirit and now you get to hear it. I promise I’ll talk soft and low as if from another plain of existence. You can ask me anything and I’ll make your planchette quiver in excitement as it hovers over YES YES YES. Just what I do. You’re welcome.

Scented Skull Candles

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Scented Skull Candles
Want some smells emanating from your skull? I’m not talking about your shampoo. I’m talking about these cool Scented Skull Candles. Normally skulls have one smell. Death. Especially when you happen upon one on a hot day in a pit, but I’ve said too much. I don’t know what these skulls are supposed to smell like. Scratch and sniff pizza? Teen spirit? Victory? Broccoli farts? I have no idea. But their pretty. Much more nicely colored than my own skull. I think I’ll get one and discover their macabre mystery scent.

Sniffing scented skulls scares sore sinuses so severely, Suzie sneezes snot! Heh. I made a little poem like I was 4 years old. Which is pretty impressive cuz I’m more like 5.
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Mounted Vampire Bat Head

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Mounted Vampire Bat Head
This Mounted Vampire Bat Head looks good on my wall. I just like that-

*Ding-Dong*

Oh, my pen-pal has arrived from Transylvania. We’ve been writing each other for like 4 years. It will be so good to meet him.

*Opens door*

Good even-ing! I am Count Tofour. You must be the fat blogger I write to for amusement.

Sure am. Here, sit down. Dinner is almost ready. Nice to meet you Count.

Watt is this Bat head zat is mounted on wall? This I do not like. It offends me. Tell me, you are truly tested for clean blood as you said in your letter?

Oh yeah. Clean bill of- AHHHH Get off me.

How dare you decorate with the head of my brethren! I come long way for snack. You are, how you say? Big fat buffet! *Sinks teeth in.*

Necronomicon Leather Book Purse

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Necronomicon Leather Book Purse
Remember kids, reading is fundamental. But reading the Necronomicon is just plain mental. This Necronomicon Leather Book Purse is a good way to get yourself in trouble. Maybe it makes the whole world zombies. Maybe it opens a portal so that Cthulhu and his kind can enslave us all. Maybe it creates a world where dogs and cats get along. Whatever happens, nothing good is gonna come out of this book/purse.

Ohhhhh, except for that lipstick. That shade is to die for. Where’d you get it? I wish I could wear that, my complexion is just too pale. You go girl!
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