Beware the Dental Phantom… I guess cuz he’s just plain nasty and eats light bulbs. This Dental Phantom Accent Lamp is some really freaky interior frighting. He’s got a chrome dome and an appetite for light. These things were used to teach dental students how to turn your teeth into stuff like, yachts, fast cars, summer homes, blow, prostitutes and bail, for those nights when it all goes to hell. Now it’s a lamp that gives you nightmares.
Tag: etsy
Gothic Snake Ring
Why did it have to be snakes? I hate snakes. Especially goth snakes. Oh wait. I read that wrong. It’s a Gothic Snake Ring, not a Goth snake ring. I thought the lack of eyeliner and general lack of emo tendencies was a little strange. I don’t really hate snakes. I like ’em cuz they make cool jewelry. I just hate when you encounter them in nature. Good thing for me I never go out into “nature”. I’m paler than a redhead living in a cave. I had some plastic plants once and that’s the closest I ever got to nature. So I’m not afraid of no snakes, Goth or Gothic. Or even Gaelic.
Sugar Skull Wine Glasses
Damn, these Sugar Skull Wine Glasses are bright. It just went all technicolor up in this biatch. Oh, that’s just my dream coat. Is it the Day of the Dead already? I can never keep track. I guess it’s everyday when you have these glasses.
Dia De Los Muertos!
What did you call me? Yeah, that’s what I thought.
Purple Gothic Dragon Eye Claw Ring
When you stare into the Purple Gothic Dragon Eye Claw Ring, the dragon stares back into your soul. That’s what they say anyway. Anywho, this is a sweet piece of jewelry for anyone who ever wanted to poke a dragon’s eye out and wear it. Can’t say I’ve had that urge. I’m all about the ethical treatment of fantasy animals. Mostly cuz I’d like to score with that Mother of Dragons chick on that HBO show. I think her name is Daenerys.
Daenerys, Mother of dragons? More like Delorous, Mother of 3 who is cashier at Target.
Whatevs. I get my entertainment mixed up with my store runs sometimes. And sometimes my store runs are so severe I go through like 3 rolls of TP, that’s when they let me use the bathroom at all. I’ve been brown-listed at most Targets. And listed as “most likely to clear out entire Walmarts”.
Ceramic Skull Plate
This Ceramic Skull Plate is perfect for piling your plate high at some greasy all-you-can-eat joint, so that when you get to the bottom of the plate, this guy is looking back at you and covering his face all like, “Man, I can’t believe I ate all of that!”
You and me both buddy.