Tag: etsy

Skull Bath Bomb with Hidden Brain Soap Inside

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Skull Bath Bomb with Hidden Brain Soap Inside
This Skull Bath Bomb with Hidden Brain Soap Inside makes for a real relaxing bath. Unless I’m in the house with you. In which case, I’ll be busting in the bathroom yelling, “Bombs away!” as I toss a couple in your water, splashing it everywhere.

They’re bombs! What did you expect? Bath bombs! Meaning bombs for your bath! They don’t work unless somebody is tossing them like a grenade. By the way, these grenades have a brain inside, so you will be left bathing in brains. Were as I bathe with beauty. That’s why we’re such a good couple.

Victorian Cemetery Necklace with Tombstones

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Victorian Cemetery Necklace with Tombstones
Now you can wear the dead around your neck with this Victorian Cemetery Necklace with Tombstones. RIP man. RIP. That means Rotting In Progress right? That’s what I always thought it meant. Seems legit. This necklace has a pretty creepy cemetery scene with some gravestones and a spooky old tree.

Did I ever tell you about my house that I bought for a dollar because it was in a graveyard? No? Turns out it’s called a mausoleum and I wasn’t supposed to be there. I thought that realtor looked like a bum! That’s okay. I totally flipped that property and sold it for $10 to another bum. WINNING!

Hellraiser Pinhead Cenobyte Pet

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Hellraiser Pinhead Cenobyte Pet
This Hellraiser Pinhead Cenobyte Pet is pretty adorable.Aside from the fact that it is basically a porcupine and you can’t pat the little beast. Also, forget having bedding and pillows without holes in them. And if this critter wants out the screen door, all it has to do is push it’s pins into it and it’s free. Good luck as it rubs up on your furniture and rips up all of your fabric. I would advise some sort of head gear that acts as a protective cage.

Miniature Alchemist’s Potion Cupboard

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Miniature Alchemist's Potion Cupboard
Fun fact: For years I thought that an alchemist was just a chemist named Al. Now I know better and I don’t go referring to chemists with their first name followed by the word chemist. Oh, hi Ted-chemist. How are you Chad-Chemist? Sup Fred-Chemist? Anyway, this Miniature Alchemist’s Potion Cupboard is perfect for pint sized chemical enthusiasts.

I’m not getting it though. Last time I had something like this displayed, a couple of mice studied the art of chemistry and created some toxic knockout gas, putting me to sleep and taking all my stuff.

Okay, fine. That’s just my way of saying I farted. Then fell asleep and got robbed.

Peeker Zombie Head Floor Dweller

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Peeker Zombie Head Floor Dweller
Hey, it’s a peeker zombie. Peek-a-boo. I see you. And by the way, you are bloody disgusting. Good thing I can’t see the rest of you. What’s the deal with like, being half stuck in my floor? What are you, some kind of fetish freak carpet sniffer? Fine by me. Just tell me one thing. I’ve always wondered, do my feet smell like decade old cheese or dumpster Fritos in the summer? EHHH WRONG! That was a trick question. I have it on good authority that they smell like decade old dumpster Fritos topped with cheese.

Whatevs. Just keep doing your thing down there. We’ll see how long you last with your nose stuck in the Frito freeway that is my never washed carpet. Ain’t no off-ramp pal.
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