Hey, it’s a peeker zombie. Peek-a-boo. I see you. And by the way, you are bloody disgusting. Good thing I can’t see the rest of you. What’s the deal with like, being half stuck in my floor? What are you, some kind of fetish freak carpet sniffer? Fine by me. Just tell me one thing. I’ve always wondered, do my feet smell like decade old cheese or dumpster Fritos in the summer? EHHH WRONG! That was a trick question. I have it on good authority that they smell like decade old dumpster Fritos topped with cheese.

Whatevs. Just keep doing your thing down there. We’ll see how long you last with your nose stuck in the Frito freeway that is my never washed carpet. Ain’t no off-ramp pal.
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