Tag: etsy

Vintage Bavarian Charivari Fox Teeth Locket

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Vintage Bavarian Charivari Fox Teeth Locket
This Vintage Bavarian Charivari Fox Teeth Locket is some jewelry with bite. *Puts my finger near it. Pulls it away.* This locket idea is crazy. Yeah, crazy like a fox. It’s nothin’ but teeth. This thing belongs on The X-Files. Ya know why? Cuz you wear this and you become Dana Scully. That teeth locket? Fox Molar. Ha ha ha. Get it? The tooth is out there!

If you do wear this, you’re gonna be one foxy lady. *Does the Jimi Hendrix guitar riff* C’mon, you know you’re a cute little heartbreaker… Foxy.

Vintage Bavarian Charivari Fox Teeth Locket

Vintage Bavarian Charivari Fox Teeth Locket

The Notebook Of Cthulhu

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The Notebook Of Cthulhu
You know what I would do with The Notebook Of Cthulhu? I would read every entry and find out who his crush is, find out what he really thought about the last season of Gossip Girl, say “I know, right!” out loud a few times, and munch on some popcorn, saying “Oh no he dit-int!” when he talks smack about the Kardashian clan. Then I would gently close it and wait for the next volume to be written. And hope that he never ever knows I read his diary.

By the way, did you read about how he was all tentacle to tentacle with that Kraken? I know, right! And don’t tell him I said so, but he was like, super crushed when Veronica wouldn’t go out with him. Crazy!
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Ouija Board Wooden Serving Tray with Planchette Coasters

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Ouija Board Wooden Serving Tray with Planchette Coasters
This Ouija Board Wooden Serving Tray with Planchette Coasters is a great way to serve guests during a seance or just everyday.

Your dinner is ready sir.

Thank you Jeeves. You know what to do next.

*Jeeves sighs* Did you have any questions sir?

In fact I do my good man. One simple question. Will I enjoy this dinner?

*Jeeves moves the planchette around my hamburger and fries, until the spirits make it hover over YES* All good sir. You will enjoy.

Excellent Jeeves. That will be all. *Fits napkin inside my collar. Slices into my burger with a knife and fork as my pinky strays carefree. Tastes it. Swirling it around on my tongue. Spits it out!* Damn that lying witches tool! Come here Jeeves, this instant!

Designer Skeleton Costumes

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Designer Skeleton Costumes
Whoa. Nice bones ladies. Nice bones. I mean it. I would never fib…ula. What’s that? You find me humorous? I was worried I would come off too stern…um. Mind if I check out your carpal tunnel? *SLAP* Damn. Just talking about your bones. Anyway, these Designer Skeleton Costumes from BADINKA let people see right into your skin like you are a walking X-ray. And consider me the TSA, cuz I like what I’m seeing. I might even have to pat you down.

These bones have a healthy glow about them. Not sure where the butterflies came from in that one below though. Wait, I get it. I knew these girls were into me. She’s got butterflies in her stomach. Or bone-r-flies. Uh, that doesn’t sound right.
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Cthulhu Cultist Medallions

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Cthulhu Cultist Medallions
Sweet! These Cthulhu Cultist Medallions mean that I can be a part of the ultra secret society. Or USS as we like to call it. It used to be “Pretty Ultra Secret Society” because it wasn’t completely secret, but we changed it for obvious reasons. PUSS just doesn’t sound cool for an awesome cult.

I’m gonna wear my medallion, chant with my fellow Cthulhu peeps, all in robes, around some ancient idol, while giving secret handshakes and passwords… It’s gonna be so sweet when Cthulhu is summoned from an ancient portal and burns my face off with acid.