Hey lady, you got some on your ear- Oh nevermind. I can’t tell if that Sperm Earring is wiggling around or not, but if it is, I hope it acts as a smart Q-Tip and at least gently swabs her ear canal. It is sperm though, so I guess it would be more like a wet willy and less like a Q-Tip. Really, a napkin could have avoided this whole look. It goes well with the sperm Christmas Ornament.
Tag: etsy
REDRUM Metal Bookends For Your Horror Books
Ohhhhhh. I’ll have some red rum please bartender. I’m parched. *Looks at these REDRUM Metal Bookends in the mirror and screams!* Murder! That says murder! I don’t want any of that. Red rum sounds much better. These bookends are murder on your books by the way. Murder most foul. Or is it fowl? I’m confused now. Was there a bird involved? I have no idea. I’ll just keep my beak out of it. In fact, I’ll just wet my beak and shut up.
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Scary And Sugary Horror Movie Monster Cookies
These Horror Movie Monster Cookies are so scary, I’m gonna toss my cookies. Chucky, Billy The Puppet, Pennywise the Dancing Clown, Captain Spaulding, Freddy Krueger, Pale Man, Heidi, Jason Voorhees, Pinhead and Dr. Hannibal Lecter are all here and they are sweet for once. Eat ’em up before they get not so sweet and slash you. You might also want to try some UFO and Alien cookies.
Want a cookie? I’ll give you one if you follow us on Facebook. If I don’t eat them all myself.
Black Leather And Skull Hair Ties
These Black Leather And Skull Hair Ties are perfect for your Skull-ny tail. Now you can look cute and badass at the same time. Something I always thought was impossible outside of wearing a school girl uniform and waving nunchucks all over the place. For the record, I only did that one time. It was Halloween and I was being chased by zombies. Had to hide a lot of bodies that night when I remembered it was Halloween and they weren’t actually zombies. Halloween is a confusing night for me.
You know what’s not confusing? Following us on Facebook, where I can’t accidentally harm anyone.
These Bat Shower Towels Are Bat-Tastic
I don’t know about you, but I feel kinda batty when I get out of the shower. So I’m gonna dry off with these cool Bat Shower Towels. That way I can lay off the bats that usually flap their wings and hold the towel for me when I come out of the shower. They were getting uppity anyway. I heard squeaks that they were forming a union and looking for actual pay in the form of food. Also, there will be a lot less bat-s*it all over my bathroom floor. Also less visits to the doctor for rabies shots. It’s a good call.
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