Tag: figurine

Cthulhu Cat And Owl Cat Figurines

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cthulhu owl and cat
Cthulhu Cat and Owl Cat. These best mutant buds are cops that make their own rules. One is a loose cannon, the other is two weeks from retirement. And Cthulhu cat is getting too old for this shizz. These are the cats of the future right here. Fukushima was just the beginning. Felines are gonna evolve in all kinds of crazy ways. Just like my cat has evolved to eat all of the food off of my plate if I walk away for a minute. That’s a bad fluffy.

If you want something even weirder, the seller will make one just for you. Although I don’t know what’s weirder than H.P. Furcraft and Meow-Owl over here.
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Fake Pokemon Aquariums

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Fake Pokemon Aquariums
Gotta catch ’em all. And put ’em in your aquarium! Check out these fake Pokemon Aquariums. Pokemon trainers are some sick bast**ds! They won’t stop until the entire population has been decimated. That’s why it’s up to you to be eco-friendly and stuff and collect these fake aquariums. Let the real ones run free.

Except for Squirtle. You should hunt that little *^#%$*#@ down and unload two barrels full of buckshot up his shell. Squirtle and I have unfinished business when I meet him in the wild. Let’s just say they don’t call him Squirtle for nothin’ and I don’t keep the pool covered at night. Unless that was my neighbor. *Thinks…* Nah. It’s much more likely to be Squirtle.
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Finders Creepers Horror Figurines

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Finders Creepers
Jeepers creepers, check out Finders Creepers. They have cool one of a kind horror figurines that are like your grandma’s figurines, but not so nice after they have had a makeover. You can choose from Lizzie Borden, aliens and other assorted creepers.

Did Lizzie Borden do it? Duh! She had an axe to grind.
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Pale Man From Pan’s Labyrinth Creature Figurine

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Pale Man From Pan's Labyrinth Creature Figurine
What the hell!? I said peek-a-boo! Not cut out your damn eyeballs and put ’em in your hands and look at me with your hands. You are one sick individual. I don’t think I want to play with you anymore. *Crosses arms over chest* I might even call my mom to come pick me up.

Hey, this explains why you always find me when we play hide and go seek. Sure, you covered your eyes. With your… hand-eyes. What the- You were looking at the bottom of the deck every time you dealt on poker night, weren’t you? No, put your hands down. it’s not cute. No. Bad…. Oh, I can’t stay mad at you my Pale Man friend. Got a secret of my own. *Displays hands palm out in front of my crotch, showing off my testes-palms.*

You think you got it bad. I gotta hold these things all day. It’s why I can’t ride a bike. Too painful holding onto the handlebars!
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Realistic Pokemon Instill Realistic Fear

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realistic pokemon
Etsy seller Bakucosas makes Realistic Pokemon that look scary as hell. They only have 3 in their shop right now, so catching them all is impossible. Bulbasaur looks like he will eat your hand clean off and then rip out your tongue and wipe his mouth with it.

I don’t know anything about Pokemon, but I know when to run like hell and throw my tiny dog at it. Your sacrifice will not be in vain Fluffy. I vow to breed my own Pokemon and one day I will return to avenge you! Or just, you know, maybe get a new dog. That’s probably easier on everyone.
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