We’ve shared MythicArticulations work before. He offers some amazing 3D printed skeleton models of all sorts of weird creatures. This is a Ghost in a Can. How he got in the can, I have no idea. I often go to the can and don’t come out for hours. It’s called a lack of roughage. Anyway, don’t expect to see anything if you open this can. It’s a ghost. It’s invisible. Plus, if you open it, you’ll have a ghost roaming around your house.
Tag: funny
Fart-Tracking Pill Is Totally Unnecessary
So here’s the deal. A research team has developed this pill, which looks like some robo-turd and measures hydrogen, carbon dioxide and oxygen gases in the gut in real time. So it basically tracks farts. Me? I don’t need this pill cuz I track farts with my nose. Sometimes I even grade the fart on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the smell of a festering corpse left out in the sun in a landfill and stuffed with cabbage. I don’t need anyone else to take this pill either cuz guess what? I smell your farts too. And that one guy two cubicles down is nailing the high 8 barrier today bigtime. I bet he felt the heat on his cheeks when he unleashed that last one.
Therefore your fart pill is useless. Wanna know if you have digestive issues? How nasty is your steaming fecal cloud? That’ll tell ya. The nose knows.
via CNet (Careful of their super loud and super annoying auto play video, which scared a magnitude 10 fartquake from my San Andr-anus fault cuz I had the sound way up.)
Quantum Healing Hypnosis Session Reveals Woman’s Past Life As Bigfoot
So this woman is getting a past life regression using what is known as Quantum Healing Hypnosis. The fun starts at about 3:45 when she notices that she has big feet. Big hairy feet. Yep. She was a Bigfoot in a past life. This whole session is pretty hilarious. I’ll be honest, I didn’t listen to the whole thing, but I’m coming back to it later cuz I want to live vicariously through her as she describes what it’s like to take a bigfoot dump and wipe yourself with a rabbit who was running by.
https://youtu.be/v1TVbQ_JWlM
Squatty Potty – Dookie The Pooping Unicorn Plush
Do you own a Squatty Potty? I do. Dookie The Pooping Unicorn has changed the way I poop. Saved my life. Cleansed my colon. Got my Cleveland Steamer running better than ever. He better my bowels. My rhoids are less annoyed. While my pooping is still not leveled up enough to poop rainbows, my Hershey’s kiss production line might just turn a profit for the first time in years if I can just find some of that colored foil and some ribbon shards to package it in. What I’m saying is a heartfelt thank you.
Thank you Dookie for making America great again. For my butt.
If you feel the same way, you’re gonna want this Dookie The Pooping Unicorn Plush. He will keep you going. Help you keep the faith that your pooping will get better. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry. *tears* I used to poop little pebble pellets, but ever since I got Squatty Potty, I poop giant grizzly bear mounds and am a mighty beast in my own bathroom again. My spirit animal is is now a Jedi ghost formed from noxious sh*t stink and I am slowly learning the ways of the force. Thank you!
Aliens In New York City Prank
This is a video from FOX to promote the January 3rd release of The X-Files on Fox. Basically they scare the hell out of people by having aliens show up. Alien hands reaching out of a newspaper vending machine, aliens popping out of things, aliens scaring unsuspecting New Yorkers. It takes a lot to scare New Yorkers. Most of these victims may have had a jump scare at first, but then they are just quickly relieved that they didn’t step in bum-piss or get attacked by one of the city’s many dog-sized cockroaches. Oh just an alien? No big deal. “I’m a New Yorker! I just impaled a radioactive sewer rat with my umbrella, so get outta here which your aliens ya jabroni! Forget about it!”
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