Piddle Pail. It’s exactly what it sounds like. A lunch box that you pee in. Cuz why not? I get that you have to pee and sometimes the rest room is not available. But making the container out of a lunch box? That’s either genius or some insane asylum inspiration right there.
Just pee in the hose and add to your collection. I hope dad grabbed the right lunch box this morning. Uh-Oh!
Breast Milk Flavored Toothpicks. For when you absolutely need the taste of mother’s milk, but are like 40 years old. I’m just assuming. The seller says it’s for a “baby shower”, but I ain’t buying it. I didn’t just fall off the nerd truck yesterday. I was pushed off by my twin brother who wanted a womb all to himself. One day I’ll find him and get even. *Shakes fist.*
Anyway, like I was saying, I’m no idiot. “Baby shower.” Whatevs. It doesn’t rain babies. At least, not until I get to the party. Know what I mean gals? Bow chicka wow wow…
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The Off-Road Commode Truck Hitch Toilet Seat turns your hillbilly pickup into a dump truck. As in you can attach this thing to your truck hitch and sit on it and take a dump. Seriously. Check out the image below for proof.
It will hold up to 500 pounds. Cuz any hillbilly over 500 pounds isn’t going to be out in the middle of nowhere anyway. That guy’s gonna be chilling with a beer and a big barrel of cheese balls and not care where he dumps his cargo. Enjoy the bonus demo video.
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Hey, why not? A Taxidermy fly. As if you don’t have enough of them bothering you at picnics and when people leave the door open. GET OFF MY SANDWICH YOU FILTHY FREAK!
This weird fly on a stick comes in a little glass dome. Now you won’t spread your filthy diseases everywhere! You say you would love to be a fly on the wall. Now you can be. Just put a tiny spy mic in this thing and you are a fly on the wall.
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Some guys need like 40 drinks until they have their beer goggles on. Me? I just wear these I’d Tap That Beer Goggles while entering the place. I’m not picky. You know it and I know it. Let’s do this thing.
But if you still need like a keg to turn me into Ryan Gosling I understand. I’ll just wait somewhere you can’t see me until you are good and drunk, then I’ll introduce myself and we will meet again for the first time. Cool?