Scene From Titanic Painting With A T-Rex

Scene From Titanic Painting With A T-Rex
Remember that scene from Titanic where Jack paints rose? Well, now you can remember it in a whole new way. With a T-Rex.

Paint me like one of your French girls Jack.

Sure, why not? If you wanted some hair under your arms you should have just said so. Let’s give you a baguette under one arm too and put a mime in the background. And a glass of wine. Have I missed any French stereotypes? Hmmmm, let’s give you something to surrender to. Like a giant asteroid that will wipe out your entire species. Yes Rose, I can do that. Love you Rose. Now show me one of those dinosaur boobies.

Weird Garbage Pail Kids Scenes

Weird Garbage Pail Kids Scenes
Etsy seller Youmadewhat sells all kinds of little dioramas in plastic boxes, including these Garbage Pail Kids scenes. Too bad there’s no woman who will ever have kids with me. I would name them GPK names. Stuff like Ivana Suckyourblood or Grease Witherspoon. Maybe even Bruce Jender-Bender. Cleveland Steamer? Dim and Dough Kardashian?

But alas, I’m doomed to endless nights of Netflix binge watching and waking up with a sugar coma next to a Ben and Jerrys pyramid so perfect I blame ancient aliens. Whatevs. I got you guys right? Right? Guys? *sigh*
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Miniature Wooden Alien Cow Abduction UFO Scene

ufo cow abductionThis hand carved miniature Alien Cow Abduction scene by artist David T. Arber Jr. is the perfect toy for kids or adults who like to re-enact scenes of cow abduction. It recently sold for $112.50 on Ebay.

If only E.T. just wanted to phone home. The real world is more complicated and terrifying than that. E.T. wants to abduct humans and cows, playing strange games with their bungholes. It’s because they made a deal with our government. Their technology in exchange for being Earth’s premiere proctologists.

Now if you will excuse me, my tin foil hat is picking up some transmissions from a nearby star. I have to send a signal back. EARTH TO ET. COME IN ET. THIS BACKSIDE IS A-OKAY. NO NEED FOR AN EXAM. I REPEAT, NO NEED FOR EXAM. STAND BY FOR NEW TARGET NAME. GEORGE LUCAS. I REPEAT, GEORGE LUCAS.
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