Tag: nails

Why Not? Ant Farm Manicures

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Why Not Ant Farm Manicures
Why get a regular old manicure when you can get ants in your nails? This bit of beauty industry horror comes from Russian nail technicians. Why not just put ants in your pants too? They create a hollow nail, grab ants with tweezers and then put them in their new cage. What other kinds of horrors are they doing at this place in the name of fashion and beauty? Maybe women can start using snakes for belts and scorpions for brooches. You are all crazy and I want off this spinning nightmare!

via Metro

Crazy Creepy Halloween Nails

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Crazy Creepy Halloween Nails
Promise to scratch my back with these fun Crazy Creepy Halloween Nails? You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours k? Except my scratches are gonna suck cuz I bite my nails. Also spit them on the floor, which is why my feet are all cut up. That’s not a two foot deep pile of confetti all over the floor. I really have to clean this house at least once while I live. Nah. I’ll let the next sucker do it after I’m gone.

Jewel Beetle Wings Finger Tip Ring Set

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Jewel Beetle Tip Ring Set
Ladies and gentlemen. The Beetles! *Crowd goes wild.* Replace your nails with beetle wings finger tip rings. Why not? You’ll look like Witch and real witches use beetle wings. Real witches also get houses thrown on them thanks to a girl named Dorothy. So look out for that.

Did you know, if you say beetle wings three time real fast, a beetle will appear. It’s either going to be Paul or Ringo. You feeling lucky?
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Garbage Pail Kids Nail Decals

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Garbage Pail Kids Nail Decals
Garbage Pail Kids Nail Decals. Pretty cool. I have some names I just thought up. Manny Cure. Cutey Cull. Fungus Cyde. Heh. I got a million of ’em. But only ten nails. It’s like my daddy used to say, “You can’t build a house with only ten nails, but you can scratch your neighbor’s wife’s back and lay a good foundation.” I miss daddy. So wise. So horny. For the neighbor’s wife.

Anywho, now you can adopt some of these dumpster rugrats and put ’em right on your fingernails. Awesome. Another day, another blog post. Nailed it.
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