Let me see if I have this right. You want me to wear this Spider Summoner Tarantula Pendant? Which has a spider on it? Which will summon other spiders? Like Tarantulas? Are you out of your GD mind? How about a spider-killer summoner? I’d wear that. No way I’m inviting more spiders up in here. I don’t have enough cups to put over them like domes. I’m already tripping over all of the upside down glasses I have on the floor cuz I’ll trap them, but I ain’t taking them out. Slept walked the other night and kicked them all over and now I have an infestation all over again. I need to summon a spider taker-outer.
Tag: halloween
Bury Your Stuff In This Coffin Crossbody Bag
It is better to wear a Coffin Crossbody Bag than to be in one. That’s my motto. Plus you get to make all kinds of funny jokes to your friends like: “This is where all of the bodies are buried”. That’s a real knee-slapper there. This leather bag is perfect for a night out on the town or a night traipsing through a cemetery. It’s a tomb for your lipstick and stuff. A mausoleum for your makeup. A resting place for the supplies for your face.
Hand Embroidered Sugar Skull Fan
I’m a real fan of this Hand Embroidered Sugar Skull Fan. *Waves fan in front of my face* “Oh honeychild, it’s so hot in here. Downright devilish. I do declare, this must be the day of the dead, it’s so hot. Bout to turn my skull to sugar.” For real. That’s a true and accurate reenactment of my great great great grandmother on the porch one hot day in 1878, before her skull turned to sugar and all the neighborhood kids had a treat.
This cool fan (pun intended as far as you know) is hand embroidered and looks super classy. I already know you ladies are hot. Wink. Wink. Now let me cool ya down with this fan.
Gothic Bats Wrapping Paper
Sweet gift! Awesome Gothic Bats Wrapping Paper! What’s inside? Is it bats? Guano? Both? A baseball BAT? BAT-teries? A BATman toy? A plush womBAT? A BATTY Crocker cookbook? I’m so excited. I love a good gift. I’m gonna tear it open okay? Cool. Here goes. *Rippppp* Oh sweet. It’s BAT WRAPPING PAPER, which was wrapped in Bat wrapping paper. Now I’m gonna go wrap up everything I own so it looks cool. Then I’m gonna double upon my meds cuz sometimes that’s fun too. K bye.
Human Anatomy Mugs Set
Learn about the body while you are putting liquid in your own. This Human Anatomy Mugs Set has a skull, a heart, a brain and a ribcage mug. I think you should stack them up and make a human body in your kitchen. Then whistle and say, “Hey baby, you is stacked!” Then look around and make sure no one heard that. That’s what I would do.