Tag: halloween

The Devil Tarot Card Duvet Cover

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The Devil Tarot Card Duvet Cover
They say that the devil is in the details. I say he’s in your bed and this Devil Tarot Card Duvet Cover is proof. I’ve never done a tarot reading in bed before, but I have done a tarot reader in bed. *Rolls eyebrows up and down.* Not much reading got done that night, but I spent a fortune. *Rim shot* I’ll be here all week.

Seriously though, I’ve heard a lot of weird stuff about the devil: That he went down to Georgia, that he wears a blue dress, that he has his own eggs, but I’ve never heard of a devil on a duvet. Good luck getting sleep under that thing.

Light-Up Zombie Head Pathway Markers

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Light-Up Zombie Head Pathway Markers
*Singing to “You light up my life”.* Youuuuu light up my pathhhhh. I kick your headssss. Cuz you’re undeadddddd. These Light-Up Zombie Head Pathway Markers make an awesome statement along any path in your yard. That statement is: No zombie bastid better mess with me, cuz I’ll put lights in your eye sockets and decorate my driveway with your skull. Your friends too.

Perfect for Halloween. Also perfect for the zombie apocalypse, since those undead freaks will know to stay away.

Pondering Skeleton Sculptural Bookends

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Pondering Skeleton Sculptural Bookends
Hey Pondering Skeleton Sculptural Bookends. Whatcha pondering? The meaning of death? The debate about whether milk actually builds strong bones or not? Maybe you’re wondering why you are all bones, but have huge bright eyes? You keep ponderin’ and wonderin’ skeletons. Don’t let anyone stop you.

They look like they are really wrapped up in whatever you are saying to them, which I like. You don’t say? Oh my! Tell me more. Gonna get me a pair and talk to these guys. That will be less weird than talking to myself. Just a little bit less weird.

Day Of The Dead Skull Faces Mini LED Color Changing Lamp

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Day Of The Dead Skull Faces Mini LED Color Changing Lamp
Is it the Day of The Dead already? That would explain that rotting zombie at the ATM machine that I had to decapitate with a shovel. It would also explain why my trip to Target was like black friday on acid. Well, time to get my survival gear ready and head out to the mountains, where I will spend my days keeping an eye out for zombies and my nights, reading by this cool Day Of The Dead Skull Faces Mini LED Color Changing Lamp.

Until one night when I fall asleep early and find a zombie gnawing on my arm. Bad zombie! Bad! *hits it in the nose with newspaper. Then when I see it won’t be trained as a pet, blows it’s head off.*

Black Skull Ring

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Black Skull Ring
This Black Skull ring is badass. Like Biker dude badass. I bet it gives you super powers too. *Puts ring on. Beard pops up on my face and grows ZZ Top length. Denim jacket forms around my body. I smell the stink of a thousand miles of road with just 20 miles of shower. I AM A BADASS.* Now all I’ll need is a trashy biker babe to ride with. Well, not that trashy. Recycling trashy, not food filled hefty bag with a week old diaper trashy. Be nice if she had a few teeth too, but that may be asking for too much.

Please don’t hunt me down biker gangs. I love your hairy fly-ridden women.