This Creepy Creeper Black-Eyed Leather Journal must be what all those black eyed children use for a diary.
Dear Diary,
Today I knocked on someone’s door and acted all creepy.I asked to come in and the guy was like “Oh hell no!” and slammed the door in my face. Then I knocked on another door. And another. And another. It is so hard to find a soul to devour and I am oh so hungry. Maybe if I tried a place with no doors, I wouldn’t have to ask permission before eating a person’s soul. *sigh*
Hey buddy. How bout a hand? A skeleton hand isn’t what I had in mind. This Soap Dish Skeleton Hand is a cool and creepy accessory for your kitchen or bathroom. Maybe you can position it to make it look like it’s coming out of the wall. No bones about it, this is a cool accessory. Put a little soap on, then let the bony hand rub it in and give you a massage. That’s what I would do.
It’s an Articulated Rattlesnake. Does that mean it’s well spoken? I kid. I kid. More like rattle bones, am I right? This guy is gonna look good on my shelf and scare everyone who visits my home. And by everyone, I mean mother. And yes, I refer to her as mother in the weird creepy Norman Bates way.It’s okay. Mother can’t hear us. She’s in the other room in her rocking car, collecting cobwebs.
Read more “Articulated Rattlesnake”
These Mini Vampire Kits will come in real handy if I get attacked by a tiny blood sucker. That’s why I’m taking one of these with me in the woods. You know, ticks. Tiny bloodsuckers. Also should be good against midget politicians. And it might help you against doctors bearing tiny syringes. There are a lot of tiny blood suckers out there now that I think about it. This will help.
Promise to scratch my back with these fun Crazy Creepy Halloween Nails? You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours k? Except my scratches are gonna suck cuz I bite my nails. Also spit them on the floor, which is why my feet are all cut up. That’s not a two foot deep pile of confetti all over the floor. I really have to clean this house at least once while I live. Nah. I’ll let the next sucker do it after I’m gone.