Let’s see. Which way do I go? I knew I should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque. This Amityville, Friday the 13th, Nightmare Elm Street Horror Crossroads Sign will guide the way. Although I don’t think you are going to like any of your destinations. I’m just turning back. Seriously, you have fun with whatever you choose. I’m gonna go take a nap or something.
Tag: halloween
Cute Velvet Bat
Damn, that bat is hardcore cute! Put this Cute Velvet Bat in your belfry, car window, pocket, whatever. Who doesn’t love bats? The insects that they eat. That’s who. Otherwise everybody loves a bat. What? You don’t love bats? What’s wrong with you? What, are you batty? This guy looks like a little bat Dracula. Bat-cula.
Ouija Board Tea-Towel
Are you enjoying your tea? Excellent. Now it is time to consult the oracle that I like to call the Ouija Board Tea-Towel. Place it flat on the table please. Now we shall use a cups as a planchette.
Oh Ouija towel, doorway to spirits, what say you to this realm? *cup begins to move just as the guest spills tea all over the table.* Damn it! *Cleans it up with the Ouija towel.* Now we’ll never know what it was gonna say.
Spooky Trees Halloween Wine Glasses
These Spooky Trees Halloween Wine Glasses are not only spooky, but scary too. An empty wine glass is a horrifying thing. Quick, fill me up. Ahhhh, that’s better. Again. Chop chop. We wouldn’t want my liver getting dry, now would we? Make like a tree and leave. Then come back with my drink. Don’t you bark at me. Hmmm. I just ran out of tree jokes. I’m gonna get to the root of my drinking problem, I swear. But I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess that won’t be happening tonight. Give me another kind of drink. Gonna branch out. *Passes out*
Weird Doll Head Necklaces
Hey doll! Waz up? Don’t call me doll! For your information, I wasn’t talking to you, I was talking to the doll head on your chest. Nah. These Weird Doll Head Necklaces won’t make you look creepy at all. Too bad none have glowing red eyes and a head that turns 360 degrees, while saying, “momma” all creepy like. Maybe wear all of them and be the crazy doll head lady with a whole family around her neck. That would be some awesome baby bling! No. No it would not. That would be creepy. This has been a fashion PSA.