Tag: halloween

Skeleton Salad Forks

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Skeleton Salad Forks
Man, I love tossing my salad. There’s just something about salad tossing that makes me happy. I think I’m pretty good at it too. I like to get my hands all up in that salad and just toss it like crazy, real fast like. Very satisfying. Sometimes I like to have a smoke after.

But tossing my stuff about to get even better thanks to these Skeleton Salad Forks. I can tell that those bony hands can toss my stuff like crazy, just getting covered in creamy white dressing, with croutons all between the fingers. I’ll be licking it all off. Does this sound dirty? Sorry, I’m just really into tossing.

What Big Eyes You Have – Ghost Doll Halloween Ornaments

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What Big Eyes You Have - Ghost Doll Halloween Ornaments
These Ghost Doll Halloween Ornaments look like tormented souls bursting through your wall. I’m gonna have nightmares about these guys tonight, where they burst through the wall singing in some kind of ghost language as they suck up the blue light of my soul into their hungry mouths and grip at me with those tiny hands. It will probably give me a little kiss on the lips just before my dead body falls to the ground.

Leather Human Skulls

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Leather Human Skulls
Hey leatherface. What’s up? These Leather Human Skulls are pretty cool. I could be…per-suede-ed to buy one. Get it? See what I did there? That’s such a bad joke, you should tan my hide. Uh-oh. Did it again.

These skulls started out as lace, believe it or not, but one day they were singing, “Give to me your leather, take from me, my lace.” And that’s when shizz got real. Used to be lace.Now are leather. Stuff like that happens with Stevie Nicks witchcraft songs.
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Votive Ghost Candles

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Votive Ghost Candles
When there’s something strange in your neighborhood…who ya gonna call? Ghost candles! These Votive Ghost Candles are all scented with various pleasant scents. Unlike real ghosts who mostly smell like rotting flesh and death. Reminds me of that time I cut two eye-holes in a blue sheet and walked around town daring Pac-Man to eat me while I threw dots all over the place. Booze is a wonderful thing. You know what else is wonderful? Bail money.

Coffin Lipstick Holder

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Coffin Lipstick Holder
Is your foundation to die for? Does your mascara look murderous? Is your lipstick the balm? Embalmed? Then get the Coffin Lipstick Holder and let your makeup rest in peace. This is perfect for the creepy girl who has nowhere to store her many shades of black lipstick.

Remember girls, when you kiss a guy all over his face, he shouldn’t come up for air looking like a coal miner. Then again, how else is he gonna find a diamond like you? I know, I’m so sweet. Kiss away ladies. I’m available. Looks like it’s back to the coal mines for me. It’s a tough job, but somebody has to do it.