Count Chunkula Mask

Count Chunkula Mask
This Count Chunkula Mask shows you what happens when you eat wayyyy too much Count Chocula Cereal. Which I could have already told you by looking in the mirror. I had a box a day habit and went through all of the stages: Count Pudge-ula, Count Huskie-ula and finally I hit Count Chunkula.

I crave blood, but keep eating cereal. Also I can turn into a bat. A fat non-flying bat who gets out of breath lifting his wings. It was all worth it though. Have you tasted those cereals? They’re like crack. I should have gone with Boo-Berry!
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Ouija Board Pillow For Sleepy Seances

Ouija Board Pillow For Sleepy Seances
I had a Ouija Board Pillow like this once, but I had to get rid of it. I would wake up in the morning to find a medium and a bunch of other people standing around my bed. I say medium, really she was more like a large, maybe XL. They were getting messages from the pillow based on how me, a human planchette, tossed and turned and which letters I drooled on.

Come to think of it, that wasn’t a medium and a bunch of people. I think those were all ghosts that my drooling tossing and turning conjured up.

Skeleton Hands Bra

Skeleton Hands Bra
Man, I love this skeleton hands bra. What? No, not for myself. Girls just look so sexy when old and decrepit bones are holding up their fun bags. Ask any gold-digger. Too bad I don’t know someone who bought this, cuz I would totally paint my hands all black with realistic bones and just cup them stealthily from behind until I got caught and eventually incarcerated. Now do you see why I don’t have anyone of the fairer sex in my life? It’s cuz I’m a real class act! True that!

Fairer sex! Pfft! If they’re so fair, why don’t any of them give me a chance?

Bat Wing Hair Bow

Bat Wing Hair Bow
Da da da da da da da….Batgirlllllllll! In the old days if you wanted some bat wings in your hair you had to go outside and wait for a bat to swoop down and get all tangled in your locks while you scream and curse and wonder why you ever wanted bat wings in your hair in the first place. Not anymore. Now all you have to do is buy a Bat Wing Hair Bow. No need to get your scalp all clawed up by a squeaky bat. Isn’t modern life amazing?

Can I get a hell yeah? I can’t hear you. I said can I get a hell yeah? That’s better. Geesh, you guys are loud! Had to close my window!
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Cool Horror Themed Tank Tops

Cool Horror Themed Tank Tops
These Horror Themed Tank Tops from KillerKitty(No kitty! Bad kitty! No!) are pretty sexy and cool. Why do they call them tank tops anyway. I always expect to see a fish tank built into the bra area with little goldfish swimming. There’s no tank in these tops. See, this is why the world confuses me. A tank top should be like a tarp you put over your battle tank when it rains. THAT IS HOW WORDS WORK PEOPLE!

Anyway… Tanks for putting up with that. Haha. You walked right into that one, like BAM, your head just connected with a telephone pole cuz you were texting. Anyway… The seller has several to choose from and they are pretty sweet.
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