Turn your Christmas tree into a Krampus tree this year. And every year! These Krampus Angel Tree Toppers from SphyrnaEffects are the demented decorations you want. He just wants to sit on top of your tree looking all menacing and mean. Man, I hope he’s not too mean though. You don’t think he’s gonna poop all over my gifts do you? I mean, I guess I don’t mind little bird like poops, but I don’t trust him. I think he’s got a full yule log in him and the urge to build a log cabin.
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Tag: halloween
Crazy Creepy Monster In The Keyhole Journals
These Monster In The Keyhole Journals from Etsy seller MilleCuirs are giving me nightmares, but that may be just because I like to peep through keyholes. C’Mon that’s what they’re there for. I’ve seen like two murders, politicians cross dressing, even saw a raccoon giving an elderly dude a back massage once. Keyholes are windows to other worlds. Sometimes very dirty and very wrong worlds.
They see me peepin‘
They hatin
Patrolling they tryin to catch me peepin’ dirty…
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Gothic Candle Wall Sconces For Your Castle
These Gothic Candle Wall Sconces are the perfect decor for your creepy castle or haunted hovel. Other sconces don’t hold a candle to them. Get it? See what I did there? That right there was blogging comedy gold, so I hope you’re paying attention. The mirrored parts have a gold etched design and each has 4 handmade skulls. These will give your room a sweet Gothic atmosphere. The thing about candles is they lose their wax all night long. That candle there? He wax off all night? Okay,okay. No need to throw rotten fruit. I’m leaving.
Tortured Souls Rings – Agonizing Accessories
Does wearing Tortured Souls Rings make you the devil? I have no idea. That’s one for a philosopher. What I do know is that if you wear a handful of these and start punching people, you are making tortured souls create other tortured souls and that’s pretty evil. Don’t do that. Just wear them and admire their torment if you’re into that kind of thing. That reminds me, my feet are hurting. I think it’s cuz I have some tortured soles in my shoes. Wait. I AM the tortured soul in my shoes. Man, that’s deep.
Nightmare Before Christmas Wine Glasses
Whether it’s Halloween or Christmas, there’s one thing that’s always on the menu. Wine. Sweet “make me forget and wake up under an overpass” wine. And I prefer to drink it with Jack Skellington’s face looking at me, like a failed, not really caring AA sponsor. These Nightmare Before Christmas Wine Glasses are great company. Hit me up again Jack. I still know my name. You shut yer dirty skeletal mouth. I’ll say when I’ve had enough.