Skeleton Hands Napkin Holder

Skeleton Hands Napkin Holder
Everybody put your skeleton hands together for this Skeleton Hands Napkin Holder. It uses both hands to hold your napkins and looks like it is doing so while raising out of a tar pit. When it has no napkins to hold, it just looks like it’s getting ready to clap. Stop giving yourself a hand and give me a napkin already Skeletor! Thanks! High five! No, stop clapping. No more! Stop! Why do you keep giving me the clap?

That came out wrong. I don’t have the clap. You… Stop having the clap. That someone gave you. Shut your stupid claptrap!

Alien Head Pillows – Extrater(rest)rial

Alien Head Pillows - Extrater(rest)rial
These Alien Head Pillows are perfect for alien-themed sleepovers. Isn’t Brad dreamy? OMG! What about Chandler? We should do our hair! Then before you know it, you are having a pillow fight and throwing alien heads at each other. Problem is that aliens can see you doing this through your window and they think that you have decapitated a bunch of their friends and are tossing their heads around in a berserker bloodlust rage. You are so getting probed tonight! Like probed deluxe, with all the trimmings. Sometimes intergalactic misunderstandings happen. I’m sure you will all laugh about it later aboard the UFO, while you say don’t make me laugh, my butt hurts too much.

Tushiez Vases Are Herb Garden Holding Butts

Tushiez Vases Are Herb Garden Holding Butts
So basically these Tushiez Vases Are Herb Garden Holding Butts. Butts that hold herbs or small plants. They are anatomically designed to be the most accurate butts they can be. Except the weiners are missing cuz people lose their shizz when they see a weiner, even if it’s on an old Roman statue. Weiners just aren’t enjoying the kind of popularity they had in ancient times when they were swinging everywhere and knocking into everything like swords. They need better PR. That’s my new company: Weiner PR. Let’s make weiners great again.

I don’t know. Looks like these were based on Cherub butts or something. Hey, can you get me some fresh sage? Sure, but I don’t know how fresh it’s gonna be coming out of this dude’s butt though. Look at ’em all lined up and jostling each other. That guy on the left is all like, hey, stop with the pushies on my tushiez already. No you stop your pushies on my tushiez!

Skeleton Light Switch Cover Plate

Skeleton Light Switch Cover Plate
I like to see skeletons every time I flip the switch. So I guess it’s good that I’m the local electric chair executioner. I kid. I kid. I like to see them on my light switch cover. Even if this Skeleton Light Switch Cover Plate does make me scream every time I turn the lights on. It shows a skeleton from the front and from the back. And may I just say that you have a nice pelvis. Hey, does your gluteus maximus turn into a gluteus minimus when you are all bones? I’m gonna say yes.

Super Terrifying Cat Candle Holder

Terrifying Cat Candle Holder
This cat candle holder is scary as hell, with the glowing eyes, crazy attitude and Mr. T gold chain. Oh and the bat wings. It’s nom nom time and fluffy isn’t f**king around! The only string this cat wants to play with is your intestines. Probably looks crazy as hell with a candle in him. It will probably scare any mice you have away for good.