Door stoppers? More like heart stoppers. Am I right guys? High Five. No? Okay whatevs. Of course, I’ve always been a butt man. That’s not just the name I use to stop crime in my neighborhood. It’s also a preference. These Beach Babe Butts Door Stoppers are gonna look awesome in my house. And since I usually kick my door stoppers into place under the door, this is gonna be extra fun. I can’t wait to kick those beach babe butts right in the bikini bottom. Get in there and stop my door you lazy beach bum!
Tag: butts
Tushiez Vases Are Herb Garden Holding Butts
So basically these Tushiez Vases Are Herb Garden Holding Butts. Butts that hold herbs or small plants. They are anatomically designed to be the most accurate butts they can be. Except the weiners are missing cuz people lose their shizz when they see a weiner, even if it’s on an old Roman statue. Weiners just aren’t enjoying the kind of popularity they had in ancient times when they were swinging everywhere and knocking into everything like swords. They need better PR. That’s my new company: Weiner PR. Let’s make weiners great again.
I don’t know. Looks like these were based on Cherub butts or something. Hey, can you get me some fresh sage? Sure, but I don’t know how fresh it’s gonna be coming out of this dude’s butt though. Look at ’em all lined up and jostling each other. That guy on the left is all like, hey, stop with the pushies on my tushiez already. No you stop your pushies on my tushiez!
Bunny Butts In A Flower Pot
Give the gift of Bunny Butts In A Flower Pot this Valentine’s Day or Easter. Because there’s nothing quite like being mooned by nature’s carrot eaters. Reminds me of that time I fell in and got stuck in the garbage can cuz the wife threw out a Reeses cup. On one hand, it was like being in a dark mine shaft upside down. On the up side, the wife had also thrown out a box of twinkies so… I had provisions.
Thank God for the fire department who used a dremmel to cut the garbage can in half. But not before using my exposed plumbers crack as a tool tray. “YO, that screwdriver is cold!” The other half of the garbage can was stuck to my gut for like a week until I lost weight. Kids called me “Fatty the Scottish Knight”. You know, cuz of my metal kilt and all. Kids can be so cruel.
Animal Butt Magnets Have Animal Magnetism
These Animal Butt Magnets let you unleash your inner animal. Hey honey, where’s the grocery list? Check the elephant’s butt. On the fridge. Forget flat magnets. Instead use something that looks like it’s going to drop a deuce on your kitchen floor. Thankfully this animal booty won’t drop animal doody.
This set of six animal magnets includes a giraffe, leopard, lion, elephant, tiger and hippo butts. Fun fact: The Hippo butt is my spirit animal. That’s why walking through Walmart is like a holy pilgrimage for me.
Holiday Bunny Butts
Nothing says Christmas like a trio of bunny butts with Santa hats on them. Deck the halls with dingle-berries fa la la la la la la la la. At $50 a rabbit butt, this trio of tushies will cost you $150. I know this because as a kid I was hooked on math phonics, but I kicked the habit years ago. Yay me!
Click through for a touching holiday poem.
Read more “Holiday Bunny Butts”