What poultry offering do I have for you this time? How about a Dancing Chicken Lamp? Does it do the hustle? The Charleston? The Elaine from Seinfeld? I have no idea.
All I know is that this chicken has paid it’s Per-Dues and is ready to dance the night away. So crank up the volume and play some funky nuggets and some free range beats. This lamp is feather-pluckin’ insane son!
Why does this “watch frog” have it’s eye on me? You spying on me?
Just a lil-ribbit.
Okay cool. You didn’t see nothing right? Just a guy relaxing on a weeknight, watching some Netflix with a rubber chicken nearby. Anyway, watch that eye. You don’t wanna get frog-glaucoma. Hey, here’s a good one.
Why couldn’t the 1/8 Polish guy join the Polish military?
Cuz he was only a tad Pole. Hahahaha.
Nothing to say about that? Frog in your throat? I kid. I kid. Seriously though, stop watching me.*Pulls shade down and grabs rubber chicken.*
Time for some ladies of horror. And I’m not just talking about a meeting with my ex wives. That’s scheduled for lunch. I’m talking about this cool Ladies of Horror Art Print Set. Hmmmm. You know, they kinda all look like my ex wives. Except that these art prints are not yelling at me and screaming. This pleases me. I may just hang these on the wall and pretend I’m still married to them all like a nutty horror-mormon. They are so much easier to live with now. I think we’ll all be very happy.
Read more “Ladies of Horror Art Print Set”
Do you even lift bro? That’s what I thought. Me? I brought some serious heat to this gun show. Okay, my arm muscles are like one of those tiny lady-guns they put in their stockings, but still, I showed up and flexed for yall, so that counts for something. Anyway, this is a $334.72 taxidermy scene that depicts two mouse bros working out and gettin’ them gains!
Yeah, I’ve thought about making one like this, but all the mice in my traps just look like the weights dropped down and pinned them by the neck, so…
Look at the mouse just bench pressing, while the other one thinks it’s a trap. Nice one Planet Zitness!
Oh spooky. I’m gonna use this set of 4 Glass Spider Web Votive Candle Holders on Halloween and really set the mood. I just want to scare myself really good and get in the All Hallows Eve groove. I’ll decorate with some skeletons, some spiders, and these candle holders. Plus about a million other things. By the time trick or treaters arrive to ring the doorbell, I’ll be such a nervous wreck that I’ll answer the door screaming and spraying raid.