This Krampus Fiber Optic Christmas Tree Topper makes your tree look effin metal man. Krampus just wants to sit on top, check out your gifts, maybe ask for a sacrifice now and then, which is usually a Kit-Kat or Snickers. Hey, he’s a diva when he’s hungry. I just throw the candy at him and tell him to shut his Kramp-hole.
Tag: horror
Vampire Bat Door Knocker
What could be more welcoming than a Vampire Bat Door Knocker? That’s the kind of house I would walk up to and say, “Nice knockers!” and mean it. Gonna need a door mat to go with my door bat though. So Gothic, so spooky.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Bat.
Bat who?
Bat-choo. I’m a bat with a cold! Which means I can only take Nyquil, not Dayquil. Cuz I’m a bat see? I’m also batsy!
Gargoyle Hourglass
This Gargoyle Hourglass will let you know when an hour is up. Is it time yet? No. Is it time yet? No. Is it- WOULD YOU JUST LOOK AT THE HOURGLASS? Never mind, this one empties in 5 minutes. It is time. It is past time. We are late. Late for a very important date.
This thing has a cool gargoyle design and is going to look great in your home. I’ve never seen your home, but I’m just guessing, cuz this hourglass is pretty damn awesome.
Universal Monsters Retro Action Figures
These Universal Monsters Retro Action Figures are sweeet! There’s Dracula, Wolfman, Mummy, Creature, Invisible Man and that guy at the opera. Hey, remember when these movies were all in black and white? Well, that got me thinking. Dogs see in black and white.
Yeah?
Well, before color TV, we were all dogs.
Except we weren’t because real life was in color.
Are you sure? Cuz I’m pretty sure the world wasn’t in color until like the 60s. The pictures prove it. Cuz they started being color pictures when black and white was over. That’s how you know.
You’re an idiot.
Am I? Or am I the only one with my eyes wide open?
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The Webcaster Gun Makes Realistic Halloween Cobwebs
The Webcaster lets you spin realistic spiderwebs like Spider-Man himself. They look so realistic, you will swear you have a Black Widow infestation. It’s basically an awesome glue gun that makes cobwebs. Now I have to get one. Cuz I want my basement to look all creepy for Halloween, and the spiders just aren’t doing it fast enough. The “glue sticks” come in several different colors. Hope I don’t web myself in a corner. Fingers crossed.
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