This Hellraiser Welcome Mat has a picture of pinhead. Also the words, “You knocked. We came”. which sounds kinda dirty. I’ve never been that excited about a visitor, but hey, whatever floats your banana boat. Your friends will look at this welcome mat and say, “That’s the home of a real Hellraiser right there”. Yeah, but he still wants you to wipe your damn feet! I work hard to keep these floors clean.
Tag: horror
Horror Themed Pint Glasses
SilverblattDesign sells custom pint glasses. We really dig these Horror Themed Pint Glasses. Here we have pint glasses based on Friday the 13th, Psycho and Nightmare on Elm Street. I used to live on Elm street and let me tell ya, the only nightmare there is that guy who mows his lawn at 3 in the morning, wearing women’s undergarments. His name was Freddy too, ironically. May have been the inspiration.
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Crazy-Eyed Steampunk Skull Purse
Yo crazy eyes, stop giving me the stink-eye and just hold my stuff. You so crazy! This Crazy-Eyed Steampunk Skull Purse has got problems. You looking at me punk? You must be looking at me, cuz I don’t see anyone else here. You want some of this? Come get some! Yeah, that’s what I thought. I’m the alpha dog here! Punk! You the weak dog!
Now open your head so I can put some lipstick and eyeliner on. That’s much better. Let’s be friends ya crazy bastid!
Insane Asylum Candleholder
This Insane Asylum Candleholder is insane! Insane in the membrane! Completely loco. Off the rails. Not playing with a full deck. Not firing on all cylinders. Stark raving mad. I only know all of these phrases cuz people say them to me all of the time.
This candleholder reminds me of that time I went to the Canadian border and shouted, “I seek political asylum!” Ten hours later as I’m being dragged by my arms through a mental ward, I’m all like, “No, I said political! Political asylum. Not insane, Political!”
Large Medieval Werewolf Ring
Sweet! I finally got my Werewolf class ring! You have no idea what I had to go through in Werewolf Boot Camp to earn this Large Medieval Werewolf Ring. I’m talking tearing through chicken carcasses in under a minute while the coach is all like, “Eat it maggot!” and I’m all like, “That’s not polite at all.” I had to practice holding back my Werewolf-ness on full moons for as long as possible, under the light of an extra moon as the dude mooned me. “Fight it maggot! Do you want innocent civilians hurt?” *Shaking his acne-riddled boot-camp booty.* He’s lucky I only bit his butt once. And this all took forever cuz full moons are like once a month. I earned this baby.
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