This Vampire Demon Tombstone Statue is exactly what you need if you have a vampire/demon to bury. It has a crazy gargoyle/demon on top just so there’s no doubt that this is a Vampire’s grave. To bad you can’t customize the gravestone.
Here lies Dracula.
Killed by a stake on the end of a spatula.
His life was spectacular.
Here lies a filthy demon
He died while screamin’
The cross against his chest was steamin’
This Gargoyle Claw Back Scratcher comes in several different colors. All will scratch your back like a crazed Gargoyle. They will scratch that itch, whether it’s a seven year itch, or other itch. Okay back scratcher, you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours. Looks like you don’t have a back, so it’s gonna be all me. Oh yeah. It’s the Itchy and Scratchy show up in here. Oh yeah, right there. Harder. Harder. A little deeper. There ya go. *shakes it’s hand and puts it back on the shelf.* Was it as good for you as it was for me?
At last, I can eat my cereal out of an angry skull. This Jack Skellington Ceramic Bowl will have you singing, “What’s this? What’s this?” and jumping around on your too long, bony legs. Then your dad will smack you and say, “It’s a bowl stupid! Now sit down and eat!” My dad tolerated no shenanigans at the breakfast table.
Just pour your cereal in his gaping mouth, pour in the milk and eat up. Even though you’re eating from a skeleton’s mouth and getting all of his icky skeleton germs. “What’s this? What’s this?” *Slap!* “It’s the skeleton flu cuz you been mouth to mouth-ing with old bones. Now shut up and eat!”
Make every drink a monster drink with this Set Of 4 Universal Horror Monsters Glasses. You get Wolfman, Dracula, Frankenstein’s Monster and the Bride of Frankenstein. Poor Frankie. He can never get a night out with just the guys. If you get this set, just put her away now and then and give him a break.
Hey, check out these cool Spooky Apothecary Jars. Are you listening? Do you even apothe-CARE-y? I know ya do. Just funning with ya. Which is similar to joshing you, but with no Josh required. These scary looking jars are going to look great on your shelves if they are as full of cobwebs as mine are.
There’s Vampire Juice, Witches Brew and Spider Poison. Among others.
I’ll Use the Witches brew to lure a Vampire, then make him drink the V juice, (That’s not dirty. Just sounds dirty) and have him administer the spider poison, so I can clean up all of those cobwebs! Why are they called cobwebs anyway? I never see them on corn cobs.