Tag: horror

Classic Monster Cuff Bracelets

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Classic Monster Cuff Bracelets
Allison Taylor Designs makes these Classic Monster Cuff Bracelets for monster loving wrists. They make all kinds of cool jewelry, but we really dig these. I saw these and I was all like, “I’m here to turn myself over to the jewelry police. Cuff me. I’m guilty.” Okay, so they are more for the ladies. Your point? I think I’m man enough to pull it off. Putting it on is another matter! Okay, that joke fell flat. It was just off the cuff. Not really myself today if I’m honest. Need more coffee so I can be more cuff-einated.

Okay, that joke was totally on the cuff, so I ain’t gettin’ in a huff. Don’t believe me? Wanna call my bluff? Just an idiot with a blog, sayin’ stuff. And now, that’s enough!
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Hellraiser Puzzle Cube

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Hellraiser Puzzle Cube
Are you ready for a Rubik’s Cube from Hell? *Crowd goes wild.* I said… Are you ready for a Rubik’s Cube from Hell? *Crowd loses their mind.* Well, check out the Hellraiser Puzzle Cube! Brought to you by the H-E-double hockey stick raiser! Solve it or don’t. Either way you are going to hell. Not sure if that will be in a hand basket or if you need to take a highway. Have to check on that. Really, this puzzle is hard as hell.

Glowing Baby Cthulhu Figure

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Glowing Baby Cthulhu Figure
Wahhhh wahhhhh! Baby Cthulhu‘s crying is driving me insane! I think he needs his diaper changed. I thought you were supposed to be an elder god, not an infant crybaby. Maybe you’re an elder tot. I have no idea. All I know is, I ain’t changing that diaper. Smells like you just took a radioactive dump. No wonder you glow in the dark.

I heard they picked you up from day care early the other day cuz you Chernobyl-ed the place with a flaming log. Ground zero is your britches man! Are your parents getting home soon? Cuz I have an appointment to go babysit baby Frankenstein at nine. His parents are going to the opera. Then I have to swing by a 1/4 Werewolf kids house and watch him while his parents go crazy on the full moon tonight. This whole monster babysitting gig is not nearly as cool as I thought it would be. Okay fine, I’ll remove the diaper and dip you in the toilet with a pair of tongs, and flush a couple of times, but I ain’t cleaning you. God, that’s foul! Cool your tentacles while I get my hazmat suit. Your folks are paying extra next time.

Ouija Board Wall Art

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Ouija Board Wall Art
Ouija- Ouija- Oui-just love this Ouija Board Wall Art. Ouija Bored? Then grab a Ouija Board and entertain yourself by playing with a spiritual realm you have no understanding of whatsoever. All the kids are doing it and only half of them are possessed. The other half are rocking back and forth, wide eyed, chanting nonsense in a psyche ward. Psyche! I just made that up. See what I did there? Word play.

I’m not afraid of Ouija boards. Other kids went to boarding school. I went to Ouija boarding school. That’s where the nuns hit you with Ouija boards instead of rulers. Made me the man I am today. A man with mangled hands.

Realistic Miniature Human Skull Bottle Stopper

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Realistic Miniature Human Skull Bottle Stopper
This Realistic Miniature Human Skull Bottle Stopper will keep your beverages fresh. Fresh and creepy. Bottle stopper? A heart stopper, that’s what he is. Look at how cute he is. He’s got a nice set of choppers on him too, for a dead guy. Can you put him on a wine bottle? Of corpse you can. What about a soda bottle? Yep! No bones about it. Need to keep your drink from going flat? Just pop old bone-face here on your bottle and if you’re drunk enough he may even have a conversation with you. He’s pretty foul-mouthed though, so be careful.