Tag: jewelry

Dinosaur Rings

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Dinosaur Rings
These dinosaur rings are ready to get on your fingers and fight to the death. ROooooooooaaaaarrrrrr! Do I make a convincing dinosaur? Aside from my prehensile tail I mean. Did they even have that? Who knows. This has been another fun game brought to you by my lack of education in the public school system.

Fun fact: I almost wrote pubic school system and giggled a little. Then I ate a PB & J sandwich and here we are. Where were we? Oh yeah. Dinosaur rings. It’s what we would all be deep frying instead of onions if they had never gone extinct. But they did, so we don’t. Dinosaurs I mean. Not onions. Onions are still here.

No need to cry about it.

I’m not. Just chopping onions.

Cool.

Ghost Choker

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Ghost Choker
When there’s something strange, around your neck, who ya gonna call? GHOST CHOKER! I ain’t fraid of no ghost! I’m totally lying. I WASN’T afraid, but now I’m scared of a chorus line of ghosts crushing my windpipe as they dance and kick their tails up.

Nah, I’m kidding. This choker is spook-tacular. Even supernatural. Ectoplastic! I’m not just saying that because my neck is on the line.

Gothic Bat Ring

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Gothic Bat Ring
I’m Batman! No, really. Why won’t anyone believe me? I have the kick-ass Bat ring and everything. Geesh guys. Next time save yourselves. I knew I needed an entire costume, but I was trying to be different. Also cheap. Do you know how much capes cost these days? Just get a ring, I said. It will be a new superhero phenomenon I said. Nope. Not so much.

Well, my super career may be over, but at least I have this sweet bat ring. It’s super cool and batty in my belfry! HAHAHAHAAHHAH Oh man. I think I may be the joker!
Read more “Gothic Bat Ring”

Eye Necklace

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Eye Necklace
I’m gonna give this Eye Necklace to my wife so she can say what she always says. “Hey, my eyes are up here. Wait-!”

“That’s right, your eyes are in fact just where I was looking! Ha! Now I can look at boobs and your eyes at the same time. I win! I have found a way around that age old response!”

“Really? Have you found a way to pull your balls back out of your stomach after I kick them?”

“Uh. Not yet. Let me get on that and get back to you.”

“And stop looking at my eyes!”

Dead Spider Leg Ring

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

dead spider leg ring
You know, I don’t see what the big deal is about this Dead Spider Leg Ring. I mean, I already have a million of these things to choose from and they didn’t cost me anything. *Walks into the garage. Looks through the dust at the selection of dead spiders, legs all up in the air.* Which one of you will it be today? Ah! You. You have pretty red markings!

Guys, check out my sweet dead spider ring, complete with hourglass design. OW!!!! It’s alive. It’s alive. Not letting go! Hourglass means what? Well, I’m off to the hospital. *Looks at spider still attached to finger* You think you’re a widow? Not anymore. I’ll get the hospital in time my dear. This time I shall be the widow…er. *Throws it down. Stomps it good.*